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stupid little human being

Posted by EVH , in Hallucinations, Uncategorized 25 July 2013 · 71 views

What are you doing? Stop or I'll stab you in the back again.

Do it. I have my drugs, so fuuuuck, fuck, what the fuck, stop it, fuck you. You think I won't get up or what? fuck you and your fucking back pain. Here see, I don't give a shit about your fuuuuuck fucking pain. Stop it.

Stop packing.

Make me.

School starts on Monday.

I'm not going back to your fucking school. I can't. Have you seen the shit I'm enrolled in? I don't even know how to find the stuff I need in this fucking learning management system. And have you seen the materials? I don't know what the fuck they are talking about. I don't know the terminology. Yes, I passed the exams. And? I DON'T remember ANYTHING! I remember my past, I remember being raped, but I don't remember the stuff I was studying day and night. Thank you so much universe, FF or whoever is fucking responsible for this.

Maybe you are responsible for what's happening with you right now?

Oh, yeah, sure I am. I am always responsible for everything. It's always my fault. My husband would so love you for saying this. Go be his bff. And tell him I have already paid for the fucking school so no worries. Oh, and I thought about it and no, I don't want him to move back in. No need to see his face everyday. He can come over and take his stuff or 'llI throw it out the fucking window. And to make it easier for him, yes I'm a crazy bitch. Fuck off.

What I meant was that you have totally given up on yourself. You stopped exercising your brain a long while ago. You stopped writing notes, you stopped stimulating your memory. You're not a crazy bitch. You're a lazy ass. No wonder you're not getting better/ What do you expect? A miracle? Good luck with that.

Excuse me? Are you allowed to talk to me like that?

Who the fuck said I'm not. I am you, remember? I love to say fuck, ass and bitch, I just tried to be nice, cause that's what people expect from spirits. So here is my very personal opinion: yes, you are pathetic, stubborn and fucking difficult to deal with. So maybe you finally pull your head out of your ass and do something about it? Because SCHOOL STARTS ON MONDAY! YOUR NEW CHANCE STARTS ON MONDAY! What do you wanna do about it? I so want to punch you right in the face today, unfortunately I can't, so I think this time I'll ask her to help me!

Oh so now you think you're funny? A funny spirit. Or whatever the fuck you are. Find someone else to protect if you can't handle me. AND DON'T YELL at me. I cannot go to school! I am not ready to go to school I'm using an online reading thing, I still cannot read properly. I can't remember stuff, I can't be around people, have panic attacks and I talk to my hallucinations! School is not for me! I can't live this life you want me to live.

You stupid little human being!

Wow, what's with the voice dude? Keep it down would you?

Why don't you understand? This is not psychosis. Those guys over there, they are not your hallucinations. Through how many painful lessons do we have to put you through to make you understand? What do I have to show you to make you understand and believe? Who do I have to send into your life to make you understand that you are not who you think you are? You are more. So much more. But you cannot become the better you alone. Open this fucking door or I'll fucking kick them in for her. I swear I'll blow up this wall. If you don't understand when I talk to you, maybe you'll understand when I start doing things for you, and I promise you you're gonna hate it as fuck. Open your eyes. Wake up. Open your heart. Believe. Trust. Hope. Dream. Fight. And eat something for fuck's sake! Or you'll drop dead before Monday. I need a huge vodka, I'm Polish too you know.

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