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Do you believe in what you see?

Posted by EVH , in Hallucinations, Uncategorized 16 July 2013 · 42 views

I wish I could stop seeing things that don't exist and stop hearing voices that aren't real.

I can't ignore it. It's too much. It's too loud. Wasting my time. Stealing my sanity. Confusing me.

I can't control it. They just keep coming. Faceless people. Shapeless things. Blurred images.

I can't stop it. The line between reality and hallucination has become very thin. It's vanishing. I feel it disappearing. My hallucinations have become my reality. Their world has become my world. Sometimes I can't say what's real and what's not. But I think I don't even know what 'real' means anymore. What I see and hear is a part of my very own private reality and real to me, but I'm wondering, if it's not real in the traditional sense of the word, does it mean, my reality is not really real? But who is to say what is real? It feels real. Truly real. And in fact the strangest thing is the way I feel about it. I've never been a feeling-person. I'm used to rely on my brain. But since I can't do it anymore, I feel. But what if I'm wrong? What if my mind is playing tricks on me and I don't see it, don't feel it? I've never had hallucinations before, so I spend hours watching them, trying to figure out what this is all about, I know how it sounds, but I had this thought today, what if the faceless, colourless people are souls living in their world waiting to cross the line and come to our world, as newborns, and we are living in our world waiting to cross exactly the same line and come to their world, as souls, after we die. Life after death. Life before birth. Soul travel. Reincarnation. What if what I see is a parallel world. A parallel universe. The other side. Am I stuck in between these two worlds then? If so, why? Do I have to decide which world I want to join? Or am I allowed to live in both worlds now? Again, why? Is this another lesson? Or is it just what my doctors say it is? Hallucinations? Psychosis?

Do I believe in what I see? Do I believe in what I feel? Or do I believe in what they say?

Do you believe in what you see
Motionless wheel
Nothing is real
Wasting my time
In the waiting line
Do you believe in what you see

Do you believe
In what you feel
It doesn't seem to be
anybody else who agrees with me

And I'll shout and I'll scream
But I'd rather not have seen
And i'll hide away for another day

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