Before I left home I spent a while in my backyard to make sure I'll remember the feeling of walking barefoot in the grass, the feeling of the sunshine on my face and of the wind in my hair. The feeling of being myself. I forgot this feeling. I don't remember.
I think what hurts the most is being so close but not close enough, having so much to say and now watching myself fade away. And never knowing what could have been.
So now I'm gonna smoke this one well hidden secret cigarette and then I'm gonna tell myself it's ok to give up. It's time to find some peace and fill my heart with it.
It's been a long day. It's been a long week.