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I just want to scream

Posted by EVH , in Uncategorized, T-Sessions 22 May 2013 · 85 views

Jesus I feel so exhausted, devastated, desperate............

I want to heal I do but I feel like I can't walk this pathway. I'm back where I was. Flasbacks, headaches, nausea, anger, pain, frustration, sitting and staring at the fucking wall. I've been there. It's happenieng again. I stopped living in silence. And? I'm falling even faster than before. Nothing has changed. Things got worse. One abuse after another. And I'm alone. What a surprise.

And the finals in a few weeks. I can't concentrate. simple things. I don't understand simple things. Then I go to the class and they all know all the answers, everyone does know all the answers, but me. And I feel so stupid. So dumb. So slow. And then I come home, look around and realize here I am again and I sit here thinking, crying, thinking, crying, no one to fucking talk to, It hurts so bad I can't take it any longer.

T says it takes time. T says. T this T that. Jesus is this even me talking? Who am I? What happened to me?

I just want to scream. Scream so loud that everyone in this place will hear every word I say.
But what's the point anyway.

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