First T-homework / What type of girl are you?
(translated from German)
I'm the type of girl that
- even when she has million reasons to leave, she still looks for one to stay.
- apparently always cares too much for others but never enough for herself.
- will turn up her TV, to prevent others from hearing her screams and to prevent herself from hearing them too.
- can make your day when I talk, or smile, because the only way I can survive is to see the smiles on others faces.
- puts up barriers so that people can't smuggle their way into my heart and hurt me more than I already am.
- explains herself way too often to others.
- drinks way to much coffee and smokes way too much.
Iím the type of girl who
- sees your first tear, catches the second and stops the third.
- would do everything for family and friends.
- keeps everything inside because she can't trust anyone anymore, for she has been hurt too severely too often
- looks, but never persues. The one who's always quiet, in the corner.
- once I know you, will help you through anything, even if I don't like you.
- doesn't like to see people hurt, even though she's hurting so much on the inside.
- is afraid of memories.
- has no dreams
- is afraid of people
- has massive trust issues
- tried to take her life
- loves vodka soda, tequila and red wine
- believes that death is not the end
- still believes in the beauty and magic of friendship
I'm the type of girl you can trust with anything
that's the type of girl I am.
Me: I would like to change...well a lot. Pretty much everything. Sometimes I think I would like to be someone else. Not only sometimes. I would like to be someone else all the time.
T: Look at it this way, some people are puzzles that are best understood in pieces rather than put together.
Me: There are not many people out there who like puzzles, it't too complicated, takes too much time to understand. People like simple things. When it gets too complicated, when they cannot find missing pieces they give up, get tired, get angry, walk away, I lose them and it hurts.
T: BUT there ARE people out there who like puzzles. There ARE people out there who accept puzzles with missing pieces and know it's not a flaw, it's an individual thing. Everyone misses a few pieces, no one is perfect. LIfe is not about finding all the missing pieces.
Me: What's life about then?
T: It's about being beautiful with what you have and what you don't have. It's about being yourself. The very best version of yourself. Not the second best version of someone else, don't want to be someone else, you would never be so beautiful as someone else.