Jump to content



Posted by EVH , 25 March 2013 · 74 views

Not sure what to write today. Besides that I have never felt that depressed before. Ever.

Listening to Brian Crain and thinking how much I miss playing piano and how much I loved it when I was a kid. How much I loved it before they hurt me.

There was a piano in his office. I remember him sitting there "time to play my little bitch". I remember this fear. Every time I went in there my heart stopped. My mind and soul left my body. I got used to the physical pain. I got used to the emotional pain. I got used to being insulted and humiliated. He made me his sex toy and I got used to it.

My body lives in the present, my mind lives in the past. And I'm falling apart. And I don't know how to rescue myself. But I have to rescue myself otherwise I'm gonna have a massive mental & emotional breakdown.

Won't close my eyes today. Scared. Alone. Trying to keep my mind and hands busy all the time. I'm exhausted...

1 user(s) viewing

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

Recent Entries

Recent Comments

Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.