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Nightmares

Posted by Wither , 16 February 2014 · 86 views

Okay. So my new psych is ex-military with ptsd and really gets it. Like nobody has ever done!! I am glad to be off the seroquel....can u say ZOMBIE? And i am getting off the lexapro. Now I am taking prazosin to help with night terrors and an extra clonazepam for anxiety. My "homework" is to flip my sleep to nighttime and to drive near the city two times a week. He is also encouraging "habituation", an intensive 10 weeks of desensitization therapy. Talking, describing...remembering in detail. I hate the thought of it, but I can see the benefit.
The prazosin was very encouraging. To get some real sleep. Sleep through an entire night without waking up, jumping up, flailing, sleep-sitting!! But now with this homework and these thoughts I've had to think, the prazosin isn't fitting the bill. My nightmares have gotten worse! I am yelling and swearing in my sleep. This is something my husband finds very amusing. Good for him.
I am struggling to stay awake during the day. Some days I can do it. Then I am back being awake all night, alone and safe. And lonely. I will continue fighting. I will continue this struggle. My kids want me happy. I want me happy. And this new psych tells me that there is a way through. There is another side to this mountain. I merely have to fight my way through the tunnel.



I am new and today is my first day that I will go to sleep without Seroquel.  I found that it gave me rls and vivid dreams.  I don't want to be on meds, but I need to sleep.  Without the Seroquel, I'm afraid that I won't sleep.  I am struggling as well.  There is another side to this mountain!  I so want to be normal, but I'm not. 

Oh boy! I hear you! Unfortunately, I have been on meds for the past 20 years. Yeah, crazy, I know. But I didn't have good doctors and i was so confused about what was happening to me. I was very lost. I think meds definitely have their purpose and can be good. They certainly helped me when I couldn't keep my head up, literally. The anxiety was too great. The benzos made me feel somewhat normal again. Meds helped banish the constant thoughts of death. The problem occurs when meds is all there is, when there is no therapy, no friends, no talking. You have to talk. Silence needs to end. Seroquel gave me awful nasty rls!! Omg. My gabapentin helped a little but it was unbearable. Then there was weight gain and zombie-hood. I could have been on The Walking Dead!!! I need the meds as a temporary aid. Temporary. They are not the answer. Meds just help get you to a point where you can reach out and begin talking. They can help keep you alive. After so many years amd so much crap, I have realized that sleep, good sleep, is a necessity to healing. That's why i have put so much hope into the Prazosin. We can't function properly without good sleep. Prazosin did better than seroquel in studies with combat vets with ptsd and sleep. So i am hopeful. I am happy that you are here and communicating. Please stay. Talk. Write. You can do it! We will never forget. The "thing" will never un-happen, but we can get to the point where we put it away...finally. It will not define us anymore. We will get to the other side of the mountain. I know it. ❤️

December 2014

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