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Wither Time



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Living in a Mad World

Posted by Wither , 21 April 2014 · 63 views

Its been such a long hard road in such a mad world (thank u Michael Andrews). I have been working on re-connecting all the parts of myself. It is so hard. Sad. Angry. Yet with each connection, I see myself growing stronger and happier. I am beginning my artwork again. Just the desire to draw and paint is a victory. Its beginning slow but i know its going...


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It Happened to ME!

Posted by Wither , 19 February 2014 · 86 views

I realized something big tonite. All these years....I thought and felt like it wasn't really me that experienced these things!!! It sounds really weird, but I can almost remember the very moment I dissociated from myself in a different way. I told myself it wasn't really me!! Now tonite, after talking with other survivors, I sat trying my relaxation exerc...


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Meds and more meds!

Posted by Wither , 18 February 2014 · 43 views

So with the new psych, i am off the seroquel and weaning off the lexapro. Raised up my clonazepam a tiny bit. Started Prazosin a month ago. Now its a new med meant to help me sleep at night and be awake during the daytime. Its called Mirtazapine. Last night i took my first dose of 30mg and i was quickly very dizzy and very tired. Knocked me on my ass! But...


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She Wants Me Happy

Posted by Wither , 17 February 2014 · 62 views

My youngest daughter sat on the couch kitty-corner to the one I was lying on today. She didn't speak. As I often do, to the chagrin of my kids, I kept looking at her. I always check on my girls. This time I could see her face, which was sad, and her eyes were watery. I asked what was wrong. I had to bug her a bit coz i think she was afraid of either makin...


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Nightmares

Posted by Wither , 16 February 2014 · 71 views

Okay. So my new psych is ex-military with ptsd and really gets it. Like nobody has ever done!! I am glad to be off the seroquel....can u say ZOMBIE? And i am getting off the lexapro. Now I am taking prazosin to help with night terrors and an extra clonazepam for anxiety. My "homework" is to flip my sleep to nighttime and to drive near the city two times a...


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Habituation

Posted by Wither , 10 February 2014 · 60 views

Today i spoke with my psych. He is new and struggles with his own military ptsd. He's been through it all. He understands the night terrors, the triggers, the avoidance...everything. He also went through the 10 week habituation therapy. He said it worked and that it would work for me. But i sat there, imagining it all and I began to feel ill. Really nause...


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Needing a Reason

Posted by Wither , 28 December 2013 · 113 views

So most of the holidays have past. This year was actually a good one. It was the first year in 22 years that the anniversary of my surviving a violent abduction and rape passed me by. I never even noticed the day, October 6th. It was stunning when i realized it. And it was good. It gave me hope that maybe I was getting better, getting to a significant hea...


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Still Angry!

Posted by Wither , 31 August 2013 · 129 views

When i had my baby girls, i promised them and myself that i would never leave them, and that I would protect them. But as parents we can only do so much.
The day my first girl told me her cousin, my beloved nephew, had been molesting her, was when this overwhelming anger burst full-blown. It was so intense and powerful, I used my dissociative 'skills...


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Here's a question for ya

Posted by Wither , 12 June 2013 · 108 views

:trigger:

Imagine. A young girl of 15, alone in the city, working a low-paid job, trying to earn enough money to get back home. A customer, a man of twenty, comes into the shop offering friendly smiles. He is always with his girlfriend, but he flirts with the 15 year old girl. She is flattered.
The night of her 16 th birthday, she is working again when...


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Sometimes I wonder...

Posted by Wither , 10 June 2013 · 100 views

Sometimes i wonder what it would be like to be a combat veteran, someone who has been in heavy fighting, seen terrible things, maybe done terrible things. Afterward, come back home and try to live a "normal" life. I don't wonder what it would be like to do, see or hear terrible things in wartime. I think I already know. What really interests m...





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Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.