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Guest Message © 2013 DevFuse

i wish..

24 January 2013
Posted by bellaroo 
I so wish that i could ask for things from people...I dont want to be the "needy" type of friend. I know with trish I didnt even have to ask for anything she would just look at me and know that I needed something or hear it in my voice. This is a challenge...and I hate it!! Ive always felt that asking for something is when its an emergency...asking someone to help you through a panic attack or even just a hug...i just feel stupid for and needy or dont want to over step my bondaries on people....FUCK!!!!!!! life sucks...i just wish all this pain, anger, depression would just go away..im tired of crying...and feeling like shit...I just want to be happy is that so much to ask for?!? I wish that someone would be able to put my molester in jail and I would have some type of "comfort" knowing that he wouldnt be able to offend again, but now all i think about is him doing it to others, I know for a fact its happening or going to happening...my gut tells me so. I wish I could just move away where no one would know me or my story...and they would just see me for me and not for this "ruined" person....I just want to disappear!!!!:gaah:/>

:bawling:/> I Just want to be happy, I just want to feel loved.....I know people like being around me but its sooo hard to believe that a physical human being loves ME...its just so hard for me to believe....

today was patti's birthday....I feel like i should've done more for her! I know i gave her, her present early but I should've done more to make it special for her! Have I lost my care? whats wrong with me? I feel so awful!!!!

 
Back to My Rant. →

1 Comments On This Entry

Bellaroo,

I get this. I find it really difficult to ask.
You're not alone here, I know and hate those feelings that we are stupid or needy for reaching out.
Nothing is wrong with you! I can tell you havent lost your care.
You sound like a very thoughtful person actually.

safe :hug: if ok?
MissHannah, 25 January 2013 - 01:37 AM
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