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just another day in fucking paradise.....

Posted by bellaroo , 30 December 2012 · 105 views

everyday seems like its an endless battle. If its not one thing its another.I wish sometimes I never wouldve told, It was so much easier burrying everything. I was so much happier when I could pretend I was never molested. But since ive disclosed my real family hates my guts...It just makes me so sad to think that a year ago we were such a close family and now I have nothing close. The most contact I get is when they need something. My Close friend trish, to me was my mother, she was supportive and loving, how a mother is supposed to be...yesterday was 2 months that trish has been gone, she was a huge support system for me! losing her was huge, I still am shocked that she is gone. I put so much stress on her, making her worry about me, she shouldnt have had to worry so much. I shouldnt have put my problems on her like I did, Thats why theres therapist, i guess... :( But then sometimes I think if i shared what I feel people would think im crazy. Im really hoping for a pain free day, a day when i dont need to worry about anything, a day when I dont have panic attacks and when i can get some good sleep. :gaah: what do i have to do to be happy again?!? :bawling:

I feel the same way.. It seemed that my life was so much easier when I suppressed the fact that I was raped.. Not only do I feel that my life was easier but also my body felt alot better. I feel like shit quite often and some days are harder to bear than others especially when I have nightmares about the incident.. I often times find me reminding myself why I began therapy and opening up to the closest people around me: to heal. I'm sorry to hear that things have been so rough for you lately but just try and remember why you decided to be brave and courageous enough to come forward..

Even though you aren't proud of yourself for confronting the fact that you were molested, i think you are a strong, courageous woman and I hope you have a better tomorrow . Hang in there :)

June 2016

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Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.