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sleep is a distant memory

Posted by bellaroo , 30 December 2012 · 72 views

:bawling: :bawling: :bawling:

I take my sleeping pill as usual every night...but everynight I wake up with just horrific dreams of my molester re-doing things he has already done to me, or even worse he will have one of my close friends do it with him. Ive tried everything I can think of to "calm" myself before bed to sleep peacefully. Yes I was diagnosed with PTSD....but every night i should not have to go through the battle of a panic attack!!! I would just like to be able to get a good night sleep, not have a bad dream, or have to worry about waking up with a panic attack.
The holiday season has been especially tough because my family is of NO support to me. They want to push it all under the rug and my mom is more focused on herself than she is anyone else. I am 1200 miles away from what I call home...and it is no good, I tried to go to the womens shelter and they were of no use to me and didnt have time for me. I am really starting to feel down on myself and really starting to feel I have no worth, my job is pointless, Im staying with a woman who is an alcoholic, yes I have the choice to stay at a hotel...but I would be flat broke if I did that, So i have to learn to tolerate the verbal abuse. Im so homesick!! I miss the support that I was given :cry: I need to be home again...

July 2016

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