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Donna Mae DePola - Guest Speaker Chat ...May 25th 2013 ... for more information please read this!

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so stupid

23 February 2013
Posted by bellaroo  
I feel so alone!!! Im so heart broken...so so sad..so so lonely. Its not the same. its never going to be the same. I just want to feel no pain...I just want to be happy...I have good days but im still alone. still broken inside....still torn apart. I feel like everyone is going to leave, I hate feeling like this...it doesnt make this...
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Posted by bellaroo  
just because your in a crowded room doesnt mean that you arent lonely. Just because your in a crowded room doesnt mean that you arent empty or broken....
thats how I feel....I just feel so lost, so sad. I feel like no one really cares about my feelings, Have they ever? NO!!! so why would they start now? I feel like im ant on the floor...
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trying to stay positive...

19 February 2013
Posted by bellaroo  
Ive been doing so good lately and then all of a sudden it hit me like a ton of bricks that trish and alex will never be coming back, I will never hear there voice again, I will never see their beautiful smiles! I lay in bed most nights crying my self to sleep because im in so much pain for the loss of them and from the terrible flashbacks,...
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so lonely hearted

12 February 2013
Posted by bellaroo  
Do I matter? I feel more pain from john then ever before...he screwed my life.

flashback, panic attack, flashback...panic attack...what more? I barely sleep I usually end up crying myself to sleep...I have a wonderful set of people around me!! but sometimes I just feel like shit...for example tonight i was asking rick a question, so...
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help... :(

10 February 2013
Posted by bellaroo  
so much stress, jesus!!! I just cant handle it all. Its so sad that when i was younger I dreamed of being older and being an adult. EXCUSE ME THIS SHIT SUCKS.....from age 6- till now Ive lived a very unhappy life, and I still am. I dont do well with stress FUCK!!!!!!!!! I just want it all to end....
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flashbacks

08 February 2013
Posted by bellaroo  
Flashbacks...flashbacks...flashbacks...suck!!!! Its been going through my head for about an hour...I wish someone could just make these stop. just like a movie reel!!! its so hard to stay in reality...anxiety sucks as well. valentines day is coming close, that was a day that one of the "incidents" happened...I...
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gah....

07 February 2013
Posted by bellaroo  
I just hate life!!!! i feel so down today, more than i have been lately, this sucks to bad i wish i had some healthy way to release everything inside of me but i just hate most things right now....im at the point where i just dont care about anything. I know i should but i dont. I am so tired of not getting sleep..im so exhausted...
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hopeful thoughts

05 February 2013
Posted by bellaroo  
I spent half of my night thinking...didnt get much sleep. Thinking about how to fix this situation. I need to be more positive about things...So from here on out I will start thinking more positively!! Ive tried everything, Ive been told that this will help so whatever I can do to make myself better at this point i will do...
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just want to be happy

04 February 2013
Posted by bellaroo  
Even though im in the greatest household!!! I still feel so alone...I dont want to feel this way anymore. I dont want to feel this anger..I just want to feel healed. Im broken. Im ruined....I dont see how anyone would want to be involved in my life because im sooo much work. I just hate this I feel so depressed and down...all I want is...
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have i lost it...

02 February 2013
Posted by bellaroo  
Invisible thoughts
Invisible feelings
Invisible emotions
Invisible self
Invisible everything
dont worry im just invisible....

I feel so shitty, I need to care more, I need to put more effort into others than myself...Ive been lectured and lectured and lectured about just worrying about myself right now and not anyone else...GAHHHHH..when do i...
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