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My Rant.



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this is a repeat...but please watch this video

Posted by bellaroo , 07 August 2013 · 224 views

https://www.youtube....h?v=a3M9xXOHqwA

THIS IS MY STORY


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*****my story....please watch******

Posted by bellaroo , 06 August 2013 · 246 views




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what goes around comes around

Posted by bellaroo , 01 August 2013 · 188 views

I am staying at a good friends house and her friend pawned some of my belongings. So I can say this till I'm blue in the face and most people probably won't believe me but here's the thing...I realized the hurt I caused before all of this happened ...but now its an even deeper hurt. I guess I got what was coming to me. But it just makes me fee...


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awful awful awful

Posted by bellaroo , 30 July 2013 · 219 views

To whom this may concern..
I am so sorry for all the pain and hurt I've caused. I was evaluated and I know I have some type of personality disorder. I am sooo terribly sorry for all my horrible actions. I was not in my right mind and haven't been for a long time. I can't express how remorseful I am. I didn't know what I did till I saw the...


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gahhhh....

Posted by bellaroo , 17 July 2013 · 211 views

Sooo frustrated. Just want something good to happen in my life. Its so depressing knowing that all my physical and emotional pain is because of john. I'm so filthy I allowed four men to take advantage of me .I wish I could trust people... any time someone does something nice for me I instantly think that "what do you want" or "what's t...


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broken hearted

Posted by bellaroo , 16 July 2013 · 107 views

im so lonely, so broken hearted...I reliving all of my memories..I miss the people that ive loved and lost. Im so stressed about money...im breaking at the seams. I do not think I can handle anything else, All i do is crying, yes i know its healthy but i just want to be out of all this. I just want to be healed i just feel like shit every god damn day. i...


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venting

Posted by bellaroo , 17 May 2013 · 131 views

I feel soooo absolutely horrible. I feel like I am such a burden to patti and rick. Theyve told me they love me...but about a week ago there was a HUGE fight and I felt like complete shit..I didn't understand it at all and tonight I was trying so hard to understand everything but he didn't feel like talking...I should've respected that and lef...


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remembering....

Posted by bellaroo , 15 April 2013 · 133 views

I feel so awful. life is just knocking me down on my feet...Im remembering more and more and it digusts me...I wasnt just molested by one person I was molested by 3...I feel like such a creep. I just want a new life and want it to be taken all away so i dont feel anymore pain. Im such a mess, I just want this all to go away...remembering more and more is...


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fuck

Posted by bellaroo , 08 March 2013 · 119 views

Im sooooo tired of all this god forsaken stress. Im soo tired of people not caring. Im tired of people not asking my opinion!!!!! Im so tired of people assuming fuck my life...Im miserable and I just want to end it all. dumb anxiety is making me so irritable. I just wish it would stop and i could live a normal and happy life and not be...


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how to stop being lonely

Posted by bellaroo , 04 March 2013 · 138 views

Im in so much pain, would it even matter if i was gone...probably not...I feel so stupid for saying that and i know its probably not the right thing to say but i dont care...I just am in so much pain, constant battles...constant problems...my thread is thinning by the minute. I just dont know what to do anymore. :bawling:

Im so lonely, I know this is...


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how to stop being lonely

Posted by bellaroo , 04 March 2013 · 100 views

Im in so much pain, would it even matter if i was gone...probably not...I feel so stupid for saying that and i know its probably not the right thing to say but i dont care...I just am in so much pain, constant battles...constant problems...my thread is thinning by the minute. I just dont know what to do anymore. :bawling:

Im so lonely, I know this is...


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another blow

Posted by bellaroo , 02 March 2013 · 94 views

just another blow!!!...I feel like I keep getting shit on over and over again. no one cares...I just dont know what to do, I feel so helpless, hopeless, worthless...etc...Im just overwhelmed and terrified for myself. All i want to do is sit in a ball and cry and cry...I just want to show my true feelings but I feel like i have to be strong and...


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so stupid

Posted by bellaroo , 23 February 2013 · 144 views

I feel so alone!!! Im so heart broken...so so sad..so so lonely. Its not the same. its never going to be the same. I just want to feel no pain...I just want to be happy...I have good days but im still alone. still broken inside....still torn apart. I feel like everyone is going to leave, I hate feeling like this...it doesnt make this any easie...


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empty, lonely, and broken hearted

Posted by bellaroo , 21 February 2013 · 127 views

just because your in a crowded room doesnt mean that you arent lonely. Just because your in a crowded room doesnt mean that you arent empty or broken....
thats how I feel....I just feel so lost, so sad. I feel like no one really cares about my feelings, Have they ever? NO!!! so why would they start now? I feel like im ant on the floor in every...


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trying to stay positive...

Posted by bellaroo , 19 February 2013 · 91 views

Ive been doing so good lately and then all of a sudden it hit me like a ton of bricks that trish and alex will never be coming back, I will never hear there voice again, I will never see their beautiful smiles! I lay in bed most nights crying my self to sleep because im in so much pain for the loss of them and from the terrible flashbacks, etc.... I d...


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so lonely hearted

Posted by bellaroo , 12 February 2013 · 92 views

Do I matter? I feel more pain from john then ever before...he screwed my life.

flashback, panic attack, flashback...panic attack...what more? I barely sleep I usually end up crying myself to sleep...I have a wonderful set of people around me!! but sometimes I just feel like shit...for example tonight i was asking rick a question, so jokingly I re...


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help... :(

Posted by bellaroo , 10 February 2013 · 97 views

so much stress, jesus!!! I just cant handle it all. Its so sad that when i was younger I dreamed of being older and being an adult. EXCUSE ME THIS SHIT SUCKS.....from age 6- till now Ive lived a very unhappy life, and I still am. I dont do well with stress FUCK!!!!!!!!! I just want it all to end. PLEASE SOM...


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flashbacks

Posted by bellaroo , 08 February 2013 · 94 views

Flashbacks...flashbacks...flashbacks...suck!!!! Its been going through my head for about an hour...I wish someone could just make these stop. just like a movie reel!!! its so hard to stay in reality...anxiety sucks as well. valentines day is coming close, that was a day that one of the "incidents" happened...I dread thi...


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gah....

Posted by bellaroo , 07 February 2013 · 116 views

I just hate life!!!! i feel so down today, more than i have been lately, this sucks to bad i wish i had some healthy way to release everything inside of me but i just hate most things right now....im at the point where i just dont care about anything. I know i should but i dont. I am so tired of not getting sleep..im so exhausted and so dr...


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hopeful thoughts

Posted by bellaroo , 05 February 2013 · 85 views

I spent half of my night thinking...didnt get much sleep. Thinking about how to fix this situation. I need to be more positive about things...So from here on out I will start thinking more positively!! Ive tried everything, Ive been told that this will help so whatever I can do to make myself better at this point i will do it!!! I feel...






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