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Numb and alone.

Posted by Dasein , 21 December 2012 · 39 views

Ever since school has been out, it has forced me to mentally cope with my rape more frequently because my mind is not as occupied. As a result, i have been feeling very self concious,insecure,and worst of all i started to have nightmares about him coming to look for me. Today I couldnt even get out of bed until 3 this afternoon. I just havent been able to shake my depression off today...i feel like crying and i cant. im having flashbacks of that night..My boyfirend has no idea why Im acting in certain ways and I feel like i cant tell him because xmas is in a few days..I feel terrible. I feel bad at the way Im treating him and myself today but I feel like I cant control it.

I have developed a hate for myself because of what happened. i cant help but feel like im to blame still.

Im completely numb and i feel no emotions for anyone.

Some one please help me through tonight...

Dec 22 2012 12:17 AM
Wow, it took me moment to.... I feel the same way. Which is hard to express in text. I've been feeling bad because I've been really moddy around the family and I can't tell them why. Everything you've said, I feel the same way.
Dec 22 2012 09:01 PM
(((((Dasein)))) if ok. I hope things get better for you soon! Even though you feel it is your fault, I hope in short time you will come to realize it was not!! The holidays are definitely tough. Do little things that make you happy. Take very gentle care and pm me if you would like!

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