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hide and seek

Posted by bluetara , 19 December 2012 · 37 views

i really need to get some things off my chest right now. i came home for the holidays to visit with family. i have been looking forward to this time a lot. it was supposed to be a time to relax, but instead problems are popping off left and right between my family members and i am in the middle of the cross...


saying goodbye to my best friend

Posted by bluetara , 15 December 2012 · 43 views

On thursday of this week, i had little choice but to surrender my beloved cat and ptsd companion, Pentagram, to a no-kill shelter.

i am angry with the people who work at the shelter that he came from when i contacted them for help in the matter. i told them that i didn't want to have to give up my little cat, but that i was prepared to if doing so c...


my middle name has been changed to 'stress'

Posted by bluetara , 11 December 2012 · 34 views


the past few week has been filled with a lot of activity and stress and it really causes me to think about how i truly need to come up with a stress 'safety plan' to better cope with it all.

about a week ago, my kitty cat developed some alarming behaviors that seem to have originated from a fl...


time to question why

Posted by bluetara , 03 December 2012 · 35 views

in a couple of hours, i will be headed to this weeks therapy session. i am a bit nervous about this based on just how confused our last session ended up. however, i am starting to better understand why it is that i have such apprehension. i want to address that here so that i can have some dialogue in mind to...


feeling good

Posted by bluetara , 02 December 2012 · 26 views

sometimes music puts it better than i ever could in several paragraphs.... enjoy!


broken harbors

Posted by bluetara , 02 December 2012 · 20 views

i've been one busy bee in the past couple of days so i didn't get a chance to write until now. friday was kind of scary for me in that i had a pretty serious asthma attack that woke me up and continued to become more severe until i broke down and purchased my inhaler refill. i would prefer not to lose...


pete standing alone

Posted by bluetara , 29 November 2012 · 19 views

the above link contains one of my favorite music videos. it also features one of my favorite artists, boards of cananda. lovely stuff right there.

today was an awesome day. i took a bus trip the career center for orientation this afternoon. throughout the presentation of the services offered, i almost started...


persepolis quote

Posted by bluetara , 28 November 2012 · 30 views

'in life you'll meet a lot of jerks. if they hurt you, tell yourself that is because they're stupid. that will help keep you from reacting to their cruelty. because there is nothing worse than bitterness and vengeance. always keep your dignity and be true to yourself.'


the medium was tedium

Posted by bluetara , 28 November 2012 · 25 views


i was finally able to get some sleep after a busy night of personal writing, term paper editing, and book selling for michael on amazon. unfortunately, that sleep didn't happen until about 1pm today, but thats fine. the insomnia has returned now that i'm off my meds and so are the nightmares. i'm at the...


dance of the dolls

Posted by bluetara , 27 November 2012 · 17 views

this song by moral truly captures the heaviness i sometimes feel about my trauma. listening to this song has been known to conjure up happy tears and also helps me connect with the grief to all that has been lost throughout the years. i really like a lot of minimal electronic music from the early 80's and...

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