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Today I told the man I loved all about the abuse.
We hadn't ever talked about it before, as Aaron is simply my best friend. For almost two years now I've been in love with this man, and I never told him he reason for the PTSD,or the reason I feel so depressed sometimes. My roller coaster leaves no survivors in its wake. I cycle through men and friends because when we come around the loop, I plunge down.
I told Aaron late last night, through text, why I was so upset. Why I wondered the reason for my life. Today he took me to breakfast. We've have sex before, casually of course because we are just friends. But now, I wonder what I'm doing, I wonder if I am going to irrevocably change our relationship because he knows my dirty little secret. He won't touch me know, I guess he's disgusted. Why would he want me? I'm damaged.
But still, I worry. I worry if he's going to change around me, or if he will ever love me know like I love him. I guess I just needed to pour this all out. I pray that it will stop.
We hadn't ever talked about it before, as Aaron is simply my best friend. For almost two years now I've been in love with this man, and I never told him he reason for the PTSD,or the reason I feel so depressed sometimes. My roller coaster leaves no survivors in its wake. I cycle through men and friends because when we come around the loop, I plunge down.
I told Aaron late last night, through text, why I was so upset. Why I wondered the reason for my life. Today he took me to breakfast. We've have sex before, casually of course because we are just friends. But now, I wonder what I'm doing, I wonder if I am going to irrevocably change our relationship because he knows my dirty little secret. He won't touch me know, I guess he's disgusted. Why would he want me? I'm damaged.
But still, I worry. I worry if he's going to change around me, or if he will ever love me know like I love him. I guess I just needed to pour this all out. I pray that it will stop.
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Kimberly.Ann likes this
1 Comments On This Entry
He doesn't sound worth it! If a guy really likes you then he would only admire your strength and try to help you heal. When someone really loves and cares about you they are there for you and help you through your struggles, not change there opinions of you because they can't understand.
paintinblue2013,
20 November 2012 - 02:37 PM
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