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One Day at a Time


will it stop?

Posted by one.day. , in Rambles 09 January 2013 · 53 views

it was going so good. now I'm afraid, scared of everything. why should we suffer, when they are living how they like? I'm so angry and its wrongly directed. I feel so sad and its not going away. my si is a little better but my eating isn't, if one gets better, the other gets worse.

I saw him again, I don't know if my step dad recognises...


how do I reach out?

Posted by one.day. , in Rambles 06 January 2013 · 65 views

I discovered some news that my partner's little half sisters could have been assaulted when they were younger by their dad. it was my boyfriend who called the police and gave a statement. they are eleven and eight now so my boyfriend must have been in his early teens. he won't speak about it.

I know the sisters see their dad through a contact cen...


Random Memory Triggered

Posted by one.day. , in Rambles 03 January 2013 · 70 views

Today, I became triggered by the oddest of things. I was at my partner's great aunt's house (as long winded as that sounds) and she has really long painted nails. She was flicking them across her mug of tea over and over.

I remembered the sound of my step father's 'hitting' wood hanging from the wall, knocking in the wind. I had never...


Why Did it Have to Change?

Posted by one.day. , in Rambles 02 January 2013 · 50 views

Tonight for some reason, it is feeling so raw. I've remembered something and don't even know if it is real. I really do sense him here, I know deep down, he isn't. I feel afraid. I remember a female being there but not my mum. I can't think who she was or why she was there. Its so frustrating and I don't know why I never knew.

I don...


I found my diary from being a child.

Posted by one.day. , in Its all in the Past? - my story, Rambles 30 December 2012 · 118 views

I just want to feel like a normal kid. I want to be able to play with people from my class. I'd love for my mum to come to parent's evening or even remember to buy food for the fridge. I mean she isn't a bad mum but I do wish things were different. I don't want to tip toe around not knowing if its a good day or a bad day. I do know some of...


From: He stole my chance. *t*

Posted by one.day. , in Here and Now - my story, Its all in the Past? - my story, Rambles 29 December 2012 · 101 views

I wish things could be different, I wish I could hear you, watch you grow. I take comfort in knowing you and being looked after by my big sister in a better place. I bet you are a spolit little thing, dressed head to toe in pink and repeating god only knows what swears that fall out of my sisters mouth. I hope you know you were loved and still are. I have...


The good and the bad

Posted by one.day. , in Rambles 16 December 2012 · 81 views

I just needed remind myself of some good things right now :)/>

Things that help me sometimes:
* Playing the guitar
* looking back at happy photographs
* sewing
* make overs
* bubbly baths
* writing alternate endings to bad dreams
* volunteering
* just going out, even if I don't want to, feels like I've achieved something
* being near the beac...


insensitive comments getting to me

Posted by one.day. , in Rambles 11 December 2012 · 79 views

Arghhh!! So angry and disgusted at how people's minds work! At work today, a guy decided to tell me anyone who commits or tries su, deserves what they get alongside those who crash their cars. I'm so quiet but I hit the roof.

Broken ankle or not! How dare he say that? I know he doesn't know me but that is so insensitive and b...



Posted by one.day. , in Rambles 08 December 2012 · 54 views

I'm so low right now. I wish I could could escape for just a couple of hours. Feel happy and confident like I did before. I want a happy ending but I know deep down, I don't deserve one.

I've lost everyone. I didn't know how loneliness actually felt until now. I lost my home, my partner, my family. I don't know where this anger has c...


He Had no Name

Posted by one.day. , in Its all in the Past? - my story, Rambles 01 December 2012 · 105 views

When my sister, brother and I were out on the streets. We started out happy. We had favourite haunts, one being the beach band stand. Their was a roof and enough shelter from the weather. No one questioned our absence. We had each other, we felt safer than ever.

Once we met a man who looked hardened and aged by the streets. He had been drinking and was...

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