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One Day at a Time


I wish you were here

Posted by one.day. , 18 July 2013 · 181 views

:trigger: I feel so embarrassed. I'm just sitting here, crying and typing. I don't want to be alone tonight. I just feel absolutely defeated. Can you ever get past the grief? I miss my sister so so much. Its still like yesterday.

What if she just become a blurred out memory? I don't want to ever forget her. I'm so frightened how things h...


who am I?

Posted by one.day. , 24 June 2013 · 87 views

If you were to ask me who I was before the attack, I honestly don't know. A kid that played with dolls? Maybe. But then that child had seen other violence. Things she shouldn't of. I was so young and it carried on for so long that I never knew anything else. So in away, I've come to realise I'm not sad that I was changed, there never was o...


To my brother

Posted by one.day. , 18 June 2013 · 84 views

I'm sorry I reminded you of your sister. I'm sorry we never kept in touch. I'm sorry you never wanted to see us. I'm sorry you had so much guilt. I'm sorry Nicki had to leave us all. I'm sorry you were so alone. I'm sorry for all the hatred you stored. I'm sorry for who was your dad. I'm sorry I got away. I'm sorry...


Sit withs? *T*

Posted by one.day. , 16 June 2013 · 103 views

Su mention Safe.

Sis, what would you think if you knew?

I know it wasn't you're fault but it was you're decision. Would it be the same? What would you want me to do? You did it. But do you know how unhappy, incomplete, empty I am without you. But that doesn't make it right?

I'm coping. They aren't brilliant ways but...


Miss You

Posted by one.day. , 13 June 2013 · 101 views

Chwilio am yr haul, hiraeth.
Tyfu bob dydd, yn gryfach.
Blodeuo i mewn i harddwch llawn, bywiog.
Petal gan petal, yn disgyn.
Mae dechrau'r diwedd, gorffen.

Searching for the sun, longing.
Growing each day, stronger.
Blossoming into full beauty, vibrant.
Petal by petal, falling.
The start of the end, finished.

((I'm sorry for any spelling...



Posted by one.day. , in Rambles 07 June 2013 · 135 views

Its not just the past that hurts. To feel the physical pain, the sadness, the anger, the shame, the what ifs - its the ripple effect.

The not being believed, the fear, the panic attacks, the self destruction from something out of your control, to push loved ones away, to grieve friendships lost, to be completely alone. The emptiness.

The not knowing.


My very odd nightmare...

Posted by one.day. , in Rambles 04 June 2013 · 263 views

Had a very weird dream, may t for voicence, it felt so real :/

Where is she? How many hours have passed? I am bound. Now dressed in red rags. I know I am one of 'them'. I have been caught. Gone has my identity, my life, my child.

My mind drifts back to her new born squeal, her innocent hands, fragile and small clinging to my finger, her eyes in...


*T* my sister

Posted by one.day. , in Its all in the Past? - my story, Rambles 02 June 2013 · 185 views

Strong triggers, su related.

When the ambulance came, I was sat in the bath you. I wouldn't let you go. I clung to you, hugging you, crying, don't leave me. The paramedic tried to pull me away. I knew you had gone. Your hair hung wrong, still wet. Your face was still. You were so cold. Your hands didn...



Posted by one.day. , in Rambles 25 May 2013 · 222 views

But I'm hungry. We can't go any more days without.
Look I'm trying my best but we will have to wait.
How long?
We are all hungry. It's not just you. You never ate before so what do you care? Everything is always about you.
Look, just leave her alone Craig. You've been horrible to her since we left, it's not her fault.
Well you two...



Posted by one.day. , in Rambles 19 May 2013 · 149 views

What happens when everything seems to have lost its beauty? The little bits of happiness unravelled into nothing. The morning sun, the warm breeze, a smile, the sand under your feet, the night sky, the echoes of the waves. Nothing but dark. Empty. Void.

What happens when there is no energy to fight? Time seems to just pass. Nothing of significance. Jus...

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