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One Day at a Time



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after escaping

Posted by one.day. , 08 August 2014 · 24 views

TRIGGERS
:trigger:



After escaping.



He would press my face against the mirror with his boot. I would have to repeat everything he said after him. I am ugly. I am worthless. My friends hate me. My family disowned me. I am lucky. He would press down harder if I was not loud enough or stumbled because I was crying. Other times, he would slam my face int...


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What am I doing?

Posted by one.day. , 01 August 2014 · 43 views

Trigger warning

He kicked me off the bed but not so it bruised. I hit my head on the cupboard mirror and fell on my ankle that broke last year. The time something Bad happened again. He's only ever done something like this once, he grabbed me by the arm and pushed me down - threatening to call the police. I pushed him into asking whether the scars on his...


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Work Place Rant!

Posted by one.day. , 28 July 2014 · 29 views

My HUGE rant!!!

I might look insignificant but I still exist. I am here. I may not be loud or respond to you - walking all over me but I am still human. I may be crippled by nerves and scared of my shadow but my pulse still beats. Why should you treat me like I am purposely being stupid and dirt on your shoes? I may not be clever but I am working, this i...


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Strange dream *t*

Posted by one.day. , 21 July 2014 · 31 views

Normally I have the same type of nightmare every night now but this was just so vivid and odd, it started off so nice.

Things were starting to look up. Drink didn't bother me anymore. I carried on playing guitar in pubs. I felt strong and that I'd let go of the past. The evenings gave me extra money to my job and it felt wonderful being paid for somethi...


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TRIGGER

Posted by one.day. , 19 July 2014 · 34 views

Very heavy triggers :trigger:

Struggling with reoccuring memory

Swear and slight mention of drugs

TRIGGERS

They've come to His house again. Fishing haul is over. My brother is shut outside in the Bunker. He already had the belt and one of His friends 'accidentally' went the toilet on him. We hid some food in there when He went away to work. Its just...


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Little Bottle *T*

Posted by one.day. , 16 July 2014 · 51 views

So appetizing, so beautiful, so close; that little whiskey bottle sits. The honey glow, the sweet warmth, hiding in that little bottle. Tempting, provoking, sneering; little bottle. Just a sip, one small taste, after all its only a little bottle. Heart thumping, pulse racing, tongue tied, mouth frozen; little bottle on my mind.

Maybe its blaming a bottl...


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You.

Posted by one.day. , 15 July 2014 · 35 views

Please, don't talk me down anymore. I know what I am without you telling me. I hate you so much for what you have done but I long for you to love me, accept me. I want your motherly affection. I wish you would congratulate me on getting this far, I wish you would treat me like I exist, I wish you wouldn't tell me that I lie. That I shouldn't be here. I do...


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It

Posted by one.day. , 04 July 2014 · 26 views

It It clings inside my chest. Heavy. Decay and suffocation. Constricting flow. Weighs and scrapes the organs, wanting to escape. Germinating and spreading. Clambering. It is full of deceit, lies and shame. My regrets. I feed it. I culture it. Inoculate the growth. It is darkness and destruction. It has a voice and it can reason. It longs and yearns for som...


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Sleep

Posted by one.day. , 20 June 2014 · 32 views

I can't sleep but I need to, I long to. Chapped raw hands, smell of bleach, the same ritual on repeat. It won't let me sleep. I itch, I ache, I hunger to just do it over again. One little thing wasn't quite right, now the whole thing needs to start again. But why? It even hurts to start a sentence with but - just because I was taught it to be wrong. Silly...


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Trouble Coping

Posted by one.day. , 18 June 2014 · 32 views

Sorry I keep changing my mind about this.
Triggers.

Make it stop.
Please.
Cold hard floor. The snow is coming.
Tiny bones shaking. Don't get noticed or the belt will strike. Knees grazed, welts seeping, swollen pain. Terror. Acceptance. Hatred. Starving stomachs, dirty faces, defeated eyes. Dragged and taunted. Kicked and beat. Why didn't you stop there?...






August 2014

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