Work Place Rant!
I might look insignificant but I still exist. I am here. I may not be loud or respond to you - walking all over me but I am still human. I may be crippled by nerves and scared of my shadow but my pulse still beats. Why should you treat me like I am purposely being stupid and dirt on your shoes? I may not be clever but I am working, this is my job. It may not be my dream job but why should I justify my life aims to someone like you?
Your words spit like venomous strikes. 'Forgettable face', 'heaven knows why a company would employ a girl like that', 'speak up, don't mutter', 'stop fidgetting, talk with your back straight', 'I want this item now or ill hold you responsible', 'I've swapped shifts with you', 'do me a favour, just tidy the little mess', 'do that again'. Each time you paralyse me, with no time to recover.
I come in to do my job, this isn't what I signed up for. I don't get paid enough to put up with this cr*p. I struggle enough day to day, a job to me was helping me recover, to try and bring normality back. It made me feel almost human again. I'm shy but I fight every day. That can't be a weakness. You don't even know me. Walk a day in my shoes, I dare you. Then say and do all those things.
Everyone has something they are afraid of. I'm trying not to be afraid. I am not bad at my job. Yes - I am timid and not loudly spoken but you didn't have to accept my job interview or application. I would never talk to another person how you would. Knowing or not knowing what has happened to that person. I think I have grown to be more confident but not by your standard. I won't lie, I am jealous but would not inflict any pain against you. Staff, customers: I know we all have bad days but I am not who you should use. I know I'm not the only one, every work place has someone like me. My mistake is not yet being able to fight back for myself, fear of losing an income. For now I just ignore you, head down and work on. You won't stop me yet.