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My Letter to D: You Trashed His Grave.

Posted by one.day. , in Rambles 12 November 2012 · 54 views

I don't know if anyone saw Jeremy Kyle today but there was a story about 3 girls trashing a grave. A grave for a baby who never made it into this world. I had never thought people would be that heartless and disgusting. It triggered me into writing an imaginary letter to the person who tried to destroy the grave and memory of my brother.


I have discovered you trashed my brotherís grave and it pains me that I knew you. Lived with you.

Why did you think it was okay to burn things there, rip the flowers out, graffiti and break the headstones and plaques? You had never even met him. I may deserve what happened Ė I donít know - but I know my brother did not. Then to do this to my car and the home we once lived together in? I didnít even have any type of relationship with you, you were just another student. How did you even find out and go to the effort to scare me so much?

You donít even know me and you have tainted the image of my brother to those who didnít know our story. He is my hero, he was my everything. You never had to run from your step-father with your sister and brother because that was safer than staying at home. You never had to relive your past through photographs and films. The taunt that somewhere out there is our humiliation. He saved us. Living out on the streets, he kept us safe and you called him a r*pist. My brother sacrificed everything to keep us safe and got us away from that life. You donít know a thing.

When things got too much for my sister, he was there for me. We grieved together for a loss so great, that someone with your lack of compassion would never understand. He watched me grow up when he had to take responsibility at such a young age. He tried to preserve my innocence. He knew something bad had happened to me again before I even told him. He could read me and he always saved me. He stopped my destructive behaviour and took everything I gave to him. No one should ever have had the patience or been able to offer any that kind of support on his own. Then I left, I wanted him so much to have a life of his own. I never saved him. You made me lose him again in death, you made me feel that I still canít even help him or myself.

You do not understand what old wounds, you have opened or know the reality of how alone I am right now. To me you have just opened how guilty and how much I blame myself, all over again and multiplied. How did you even know we were related? We donít even share a last name. You must have searched and searched for something that could hurt me even more.
Well congratulations, D. You did it.

June 2015

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