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ive been lonely my whole life am i alone in this?

Posted by caramelle , 31 October 2012 · 12 views

so today i started thinking is me always feeling lonely something to to to with my feelings being belittled when i was younger
in the last 6 years or so i have been majorly lonely and partly due to being incapacitated after an accident, and all the people that i would usually be around (fake friends) would drop me because they didn't have time for me to slow them down or wateva,but i felt lonely before that, i find the feelings i have strange because i have a deep love for myself but also i have all this hurt i m trying to work through. i want to have more friends in my life and basically just have a social life but i have put myself in this shell for so long that now i dont know how to go out in to the world and meet people. considering the fact that i basically grew myself up and emotionally i only relied on my self i know i have done quite well on my own but i guess im just in a rush to be as happy as i can as quickly as i can and when i say that to people they dont understand that your not holding your self back on purpose and its rather frustrating because you wish you could click your fingers and everything would be fine... *sigh



This may sound odd but you're not alone in your loneliness. There are those who are overwhelmed by loneliness in a crowded room. Look around you and see for yourself. It's been my experience that those who laugh the loudest at times are typically the ones battling their greatest demons. Your recognition and acknowledgement of your own loneliness is a step in the right direction. You are beginning to identify your 'other' self wants and needs and this is a tremendous step in your process of healing. Be gentle with yourself. Be patient. There are no quick fixes or tiny little pills that can guarantee complete happiness overnight. It's a journey. It's long and cumbersome at times with extreme highs and overwhelming lows but it's your journey, nonetheless. You will venture out when you are ready. Perhaps start by doing those things that you truly enjoy. Who knows, you may meet others will similar interests. Life truly is a 'box of chocolates,' of which you have to take small bites of this and that in order to identify what you yourself deem as most appealing. So start with what you know then dabble in those things and/or outings that peak your interests.

Journey onward friend...
Caramelle- I relate sooo much to what you wrote, your blog could have been an entry from my own diary. I've lost touch with nearly all of my old friends after having moved away, and it feels like the majority of my life I've lived with unbearable loneliness. I hope things get better for you soon. :hug: if okay.
thank you for your comments these days i just feel constantly low i try to talk to my mom but she doesn't want to hear i dont have anyone to go to about this and i dont know what to do. i try to get out in the world but you need money to do that i have money for bills i cant afford a social life people dont want broke friends and its true that doesnt even upset me what upsets me is that through everything i have been through even times when i have been close to self harm, someone could phone me and really need me and i can put my own problems away and help people ill listen to you all night long if you want me to and there is noone in my life like that i have never had a proper friend people say "but your fam love you" how would they know? my whole life i have never been able to rely on family but they have always relied on me i am alone all the time and when i told them i am a csa/incest survivor they cut me out but call me if they need a babysitter i can keep going on in life like this and i can shift this depressing feeling i dont even really leave my flat anymore you cant assume that your family love you just because they exist somewhere in the world. i thank god that i love my self because i am very sure and know that i am the only one who does but i am grateful because most people dont know how to do that. thanks for listening x

April 2014

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