It is difficult for me not to reflect on my past. I often spend hours day dreaming of what was and how it could have been different. As a child, my siblings and I often talked about never talking about what happened at home with anyone. There was a fear about splitting up the family even if it could have been for the better. We watch as our Mother excepted and took physical and mental abuse. She had been separated from my father legally with two kids for seven years. He made all the promises that he had changed and that life could be different and with in a few months of getting back together things where the same as they had always been. It is instilled within the Russian Orthodox community that divorces is not allowed. Yet they preach about how God is good and does not wish for people to suffer. It is also the belief within the community that divorce is possible with approval by the male, or if the male commits adultery but even then he word still up holds more value with in respects of the community. Often as a male driven society women where told that it was Gods choice in there abuse and it was then there destiny to with stand it. However this belief also contracts the belief that God doesn't wish for people to suffer. and if God did create people with a destiny to suffer it could be argued the contradiction between what is all wholly and good. I think watching everything my family did sustain my belief in women's rights in not being abuse and this abuse not being protected by laws in which help these men get away with their own sick and twisted perversions intended only for the self gain of the individual by instilling the hurt and abuse inflected to another human, this is what they find pleasurable, hurting another human. Which they have motive, money. I think women with soft hearts often think that somehow their kindness could help change another. And even if it is possible with in, as my mother would often tell me "It is better to have a husband beat you while you are young and can withstand the pain, and one who softens with age." These generational thoughts continue the excuse women have made to allow abusive behavior. In many intestines abuse is such a norm that women trapped to the culture, can't even distinguish from the difference of sincere and insincere behavior. I have even seen women continuously make excuses for the abuse, even telling themselves it is there fault even though their is no escape from the intent of another to harm the individual. Often this pride of keeping cultural difference and distinguishing from the reality that life does have more to offer and that by pursing a life in which one is happy is not selfish, but a natural desire to want to be content. A liberty which is often ignored.