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MissHannah's Blog



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All i can say for now

Posted by MissHannah , 07 October 2012 · 29 views

tw* swearing


I sit down, to try and get some of this shit out of my head but i can't. Im getting stuck, i can't find any words. Theres so much i want to say. It doesn't matter if i can't start.

This is frustrating.

Im tired of today, im tired of this. I can't let any tears out. Im sick of being pathetic. I want to be a person, all...


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Scared of how i've been feeling.

Posted by MissHannah , 03 October 2012 · 32 views

**Tw for SU





I haven't felt like this in quite a while..It scares me when i do.

The last two nights, seemingly out of no where really i've been having some strong SU feelings. I don't feel like i'd act on any of these feelings, it scares me when i start feeling like i just don't care. This was the case last night, i felt like i re...


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Letter to another of his 'victims'

Posted by MissHannah , 01 October 2012 · 30 views

*Tw, one swear word, one mention of d****h





Dear S,

When you told me what little M had managed to say, my heart sank. I was surprised you did, we hadn't seen each other since we were little. Maybe just because he has been a part of both of our lives, maybe you just needed to say it to someone.
I can't bare the thought of it, of him taking ad...


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Grr is how i feel today

Posted by MissHannah , 29 September 2012 · 25 views

It hasn't been long since the last entry, i need to get more stuff out. I can't seem to get it out the same way writing in a diary. I seem to do better here.

I feel pretty pathetic at the minute, im losing track of time. I've been sitting at the computer for hours, that's sad isn't it?

I keep apologising to my bf, he says he doesn...


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i don't want to pretend!

Posted by MissHannah , 29 September 2012 · 24 views

It feels like too much right now, what 'it' is exactly im not sure.

Everything, the way im feeling and thinking. I don't know, im not making any sense. There doesn't seem to be much of that in my mind. I feel like im holding everything together but im not sure who's sake its for?

Maybe it isn't. Im frustrated right now, i've...


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whats happening now..

Posted by MissHannah , 28 September 2012 · 23 views

So after dreading the last psychiatrists appointment, it went alot better than i was expecting. It went okay the first time so im not sure why i thought this one was going to be disaster. Though this time i had some stuff i didn't mention in the last appointment that i thought were pretty important so i was nervous about that.
I went in and he asked h...


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Moods coming crashing down..

Posted by MissHannah , 26 September 2012 · 24 views

Thats how i feel today, i don't want to go out its something i really struggle with. I have to, i have a psychiatrist appointment.

I just want to go back to bed and hide, i dont want to feel so self concious its like everyone is staring. Thats what is feels like, i can't believe that they wouldn't be able to tell how i feel inside. I feel lik...


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Denial

Posted by MissHannah , 23 September 2012 · 25 views

**trigger warning for partner SA?/r**e/csa


This is hard to write, im so glad i found a place i can get it out though. Since going through the court process and beginning to see how much the csa has affected me and how ihad been avoiding it all costs for a long time, i've realised i can't only deal with this and pretend the other abuse isn't...


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Rambling as usual

Posted by MissHannah , 22 September 2012 · 19 views

Over the last 2 days i have tried sitting down at the computer and writing in my diary, neiher have been vey sucsessful. Nothings been coming out, i can't seem to start. I know theres stuff in my head i want to get out.
I think this is going to be a lot of rambling.

I really hope i can do the things i want to get done today. Just sorting through some...


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just feeling sorry for myself

Posted by MissHannah , 20 September 2012 · 20 views

I suppose i'd better go and get ready for this counselling appointment. Im tired and anxious. I struggle to open up to people, i've never really spoken in any detail of the things that happened. I know its going to be hard to open up. I don't feel like i have the energy to go, i have to. I can't avoid this. Theres lots i need to do at home...






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