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In the right direction

09 March 2013
Posted by MissHannah  
On Thursday I had my 3rd appointment with A at home, she's really happy with the progress I'm making. The biggest difference I'm noticing is how I'm thinking. Before she arrived I was geting anxious because I wasn't ready yet but suddenly I started thinking it's just the adrenaline etc. That's a big help to me, a...
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Restless

26 February 2013
Posted by MissHannah  
I'm anxious and need to do something so I decided to write something here. Something I'm still finding hard is to let myself go when I do decide to, not just here but wherever. It isn't about how much or what I say really, it's how I feel. Even in personal diaries I can't be totally honest and let my emotions come out properly,...
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A litlle update

23 February 2013
Posted by MissHannah  
The last time I wrote something here I think was after my first therapy appointment for Agoraphobia and anxiety. The nurse A left me with progressive musicle relaxtion excercises to pratice, though I admit I have been struggling with these. The first time I tried it in the bath and my muscles were aching, when I lay down afterwards I did feel...
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Recent changes

14 February 2013
Posted by MissHannah  
It has been a little while since I have been here properly due to a few reasons. One being I was finding it impossible to concentrate on anything without focusing on what I had to first. Another being I was finding it hard to be here without being triggered. I think I made the right choice in taking some time, a few things have changed and overall...
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Scary next step

30 January 2013
Posted by MissHannah  
The last few days have been pretty tough, with alot of new things on my mind and not enough sleep I started to feel a bit overwhelmed by it all.
Last night I tried to reply to messages and blog somewhere else, in the end I had to accept my brain simply needed a rest.

In the months since that I have been here theres so much that I have learned....
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Little me?

23 January 2013
Posted by MissHannah  
I posted something about this, DID like syptoms recently.

Today I feel really disconnected, whther that is the right word I don't know. Nor do I care.
I don't care what I have, what its called or what anyone thinks. I just want to be understood.

I'm terrified that the more and more stuff I need to talk about here that no one will...
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Confused.

13 January 2013
Posted by MissHannah  
I remember her walking in and seeing us. I remember he looked embarassed and moved away, pretty quickly. I don't remember him leaving.
I remember being in the bedroom, with her shouting and screaming at me. She wanted me to tell her we had been doing.

I don't remeber the exact words of those questions, i know what they were implying...
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Ramblings for the morning

11 January 2013
Posted by MissHannah  
The 5 or so days since going to the hospital haven’t been that much better. The flashbacks have continued to go on. Usually, they don’t happen this close together. I say usually, nothing is that regular really. What i’m finding hardest at the moment is the new memories coming up, along with looking at others again and seeing them for what they...
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My visit to the hospial

05 January 2013
Posted by MissHannah  
Tw mention of su feelings.



For a few days my head felt clearer. My depression felt properly lifted for the first time in a while. I think this is the reason i had new flashbacks and new memories.

Usually when i have a flashback it's to what happened to me when i was little, this time it was to things that my ex did. Earlier in the day i...
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More?

31 December 2012
Posted by MissHannah  
Your silence, in your eyes
not lies but
protection.

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