I figured that I'd have to plough through my head,
And wait for the dread.
The eventual tears.
That didn't qualify as the PMSing strife that you blamed all these years.
God knows I'd like to even blame a past,
That is partially responsible for this,
But I can't trust any of this,
And I'm running scared and loose,
I'm picking that fight and I know that I am,
It's easier than facing truth,
And facing you,
And being real,
It makes pretending easier,
Because I don't have to pretend that I'm angry,
I already am.
So I channel the fury,
Through the currents of verbal abuse,
Till I'm off no use to anyone,
Not even myself.
Far, far away,
Deep behind the bridge,
There's a girl who's lying,
Because she's good at it.
But I'm not her.
I'm the girl behind her.
Hiding in her shadow,
Hoping that she fixes all my issues
And answers all their questions.
I shouldn't talk to her.
I shouldn't even think about her name.
But she was so helpful.
It was easier.
She took care of everything.
She killed me,
But at least she kept the mirage going.
Either way I'm chewing gum.
Better than burnt flesh and scars to keep control.
Better than demons,
Or a tinge below.
I'm holding on by my fingernails,
While being tugged at from below.
I'm barely holding on,
I'm slipping away real slow...
(*slowly is grammatically correct. sorry)