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Searching for a little hope.

Posted by Kaity , 21 October 2012 · 46 views

I haven't posted a blog in a while. Partially because I was busy moving, starting classes again, and starting my new job and partially because I haven't felt motivated to even save my own life.

Some of you know already, but for the majority of you that don't, I recently had a close friend drown. I guess it's almost been a month now, I can't believe that it's been that long. I hate the idea that life has gone on without her, but life is both cruel and comforting.

Sometimes we need to hold onto our grief, but life doesn't let us. It all goes by too quickly and if I don't move on with it I'll get lost in the world. I feel like I've fallen behind and life is winning this race. I'm desperately trying to catch up but everything and everyone is so much farther ahead of me that I don't have time to grieve, to be mad, frustrated, or angry about what I've been through and about the friends I have lost.

I tell myself everyday that I need to live for those that I've lost but it is so hard. I'm holding on as best as I can but I need something in my life to give me hope. I want to scream for help but I don't know what for. I just wish life would stop for a minute, let me enjoy the stillness and quiet.



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