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stacyloo's Blog



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avoiding conversation

Posted by stacyloo , 05 September 2012 · 14 views

every week i see my counsellor and every week she trys to talk to me about what i have gone threw from being a child to now.

i do everything i can including offering her a brew or playing with my daughter because i cant face the true.

mainly cause i dontt want people judging me and saying am damaged it really gets me down an makes me want to hide away...


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dreams/nightmares/flashbacks

Posted by stacyloo , 02 September 2012 · 5 views

last night i went to bed to sleep

to wake up screaming my head off an in tears

cos i seen everything i ad bin put threw by my abusers clear like it was happening right there and then.

i woke up screaming no no no please dont do that to me please it hurts please please please

my head is well battered now i keep thinkin wat do i do

i felt really dirty...


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who am i, i dont kno myself anymore

Posted by stacyloo , 30 August 2012 · 14 views

wel were to start ermmm,who am i, i dont know myself anymore, dont kno what i want from life, dont kno were i want to be in this world, evrything around me just doesnt seem normal now am stuck in a womens refuge the ladys being nice this is not normal to me in my head how can i deal with this thanks to everything i av gone threw i trust no-one and i think...


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lost myself in a big world

Posted by stacyloo , 26 August 2012 · 17 views

im lost completely dont kno myself anymore the person i used to b cud deal with anything now am a nerves reck scaredc of going out the door scared of who i will see but then im stuck in every minute of everyday scared of wat am gonna do to myself why do i have to deal with all this am 24 an bin dealing with all this since i was around 8 yrs old being beat...


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lost myself in a big world

Posted by stacyloo , 26 August 2012 · 5 views

im lost completely dont kno myself anymore the person i used to b cud deal with anything now am a nerves reck scaredc of going out the door scared of who i will see but then im stuck in every minute of everyday scared of wat am gonna do to myself why do i have to deal with all this am 24 an bin dealing with all this since i was around 8 yrs old being beat...


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don`t know what to do

Posted by stacyloo , 23 August 2012 · 17 views

my head is battered evrything going round an round can`t think straight,is all i can hear is wat av i got to live for i av bin put threw all that wat my abusers av dun to me an i av not got a life or anything i dont feel safe in this world,all i can hear is u deserve it, its ur fault ,u asked for it , u drove me to it , i want to go clothes shoppin is all...


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need a fresh start

Posted by stacyloo , 17 August 2012 · 14 views

im in need of a fresh start am living in the same town as my abusers and am struggling to deal with it dont want to go out everyday incase i bump into them really scared for my own safety and my daughters safety but cant get a move just yet so head up my a*s


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wonna a new life

Posted by stacyloo , 14 August 2012 · 8 views

everyday something new crops up to test me. just when i think i got things undercontrol it turns out i don`t, i kleep having flash backs of what my abusers put threw i see their faces and keep hearing the thing that they kept saying little sayings like, u deserve it, it ur own fault, u pushed me to it,


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wonna a new life

Posted by stacyloo , 14 August 2012 · 10 views

everyday something new crops up to test me. just when i think i got things undercontrol it turns out i don`t, i kleep having flash backs of what my abusers put threw i see their faces and keep hearing the thing that they kept saying little sayings like, u deserve it, it ur own fault, u pushed me to it,


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you deserve it

Posted by stacyloo , 13 August 2012 · 4 views

everyday i sit and wonder why me why was i the one why did you put me threw that everyday i blame myself i just cant seem to get it out my head put myself down everyday it was 15yrs ago when it all started an it only stop in december last year now im a single mum struggling to hold it together everyday i remember wat u all did to wat u all put me threw no...






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