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Wednesday.

Posted by ptsdthrowmeaway , 03 October 2012 · 10 views

It's a new day. I can do it today. Only two classes, I can make through both of them. I have to stay on campus anyways for my psych appointment.

I kept my meds down and I woke up (relatively) on time. I didn't shower but still... I'd say so far, so good.

~~
I made it through both classes. I didn't stay on campus to wait for my appointment, but I studied at home for an hour or so. Now i'm heading to see my psychiatrist and for some reason i'm really nervous. I'm nervous about a lot of things, maybe i'm just stressing about this to keep my mind off the other shit.

~~
I feel really weird now. My major is in engineering, and my psychiatrist brought up a tutoring program for students in STEM majors...students with disabilities. He said I could apply for the program if we call my anxiety a disability.

Now I've felt stupid, broken, fucked up beyond repair...but I have trouble thinking of myself as disabled. I take medication but no ones given me a real diagnosis. PTSD? Rape trauma syndrom? Just anxiety? I don't know what to call it but nothing seems valid. I wish I had a name for it other than just depression. It's hard to sum up my ”disability” in one word. I wish somebody would give me a diagnosis already.



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Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.