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ptsdthrowmeaway's Blog



Posted by ptsdthrowmeaway , 09 December 2012 · 109 views

I'm so sorry for what I posted yesterday... So many people commented and messaged me because they were worried. I really was amazed that so many people cared.

I just want to say that I'm really sorry for being an attention whore. It was a tough night, but I did wake up in the morning.


Just a cry for help.

Posted by ptsdthrowmeaway , 08 December 2012 · 138 views

I don't intend to wake up tomorrow.

I took my meds today. I spilled them while he was yelling at me. Oh, I took plenty.

I'm trying to slowly take the rest of the broprupion that I had decided not to take before. I'm slowly adding liquor, trying to make a good cocktail in my gut.

OD's never seem to work. That's why I'm trying...



Posted by ptsdthrowmeaway , 01 November 2012 · 89 views

Halloween marks the beginning of a bad season for me. I only recently was able to pinpoint the date when I was raped, so I'm kind of interested to see how I'm gonna handle it this year.

So since I'm not doing anything tonight, I thought now would be a good time to reflect on what happened on past Halloweens.

October 30, 2009 was the night I...


My fiance said he wants to take me shopping for pretty new clothes...

Posted by ptsdthrowmeaway , 25 October 2012 · 85 views

I asked him why and he said, ” because I want you to feel pretty”.

It's so hard to express myself. I wish I could tell him honestly how much those words meant to me.

I also wish I could tell him that new clothes wouldn't make me feel pretty. I wish I could explain that nothing would make me pretty. But that would just hurt him more.

Some day...


Gifted and Talented

Posted by ptsdthrowmeaway , 17 October 2012 · 77 views

won't let me delete this stupid poem...


” Season of the Bitch” excerpt

Posted by ptsdthrowmeaway , 11 October 2012 · 56 views

” Tears come, I'm losing it quick, he gives me his hand, I'd given him everything. Awful tears down my awful face into the awful sea, his hand I'm squeezing so hard, I want to break its fucking bones. Out of sea the ivory tower'd've saved me

I suppose I am but breaking down, sans adjective, breaking down in the simplest of manners, f...


Pretty Girls

Posted by ptsdthrowmeaway , 01 October 2012 · 105 views

Possible trigger warning?

I hate talking about my insecurities, but I guess this is a good place to start since it's anonymous. I started taking kickboxing on my therapist's recommendation. Over the summer, most of the college girls were gone and I was used to the group of slightly older ladies.

Now all of the college girls are back and they...


Letter to my Dad

Posted by ptsdthrowmeaway , 23 September 2012 · 55 views


Hey, Dad.

I have to tell you something. You're not gonna like it.

You're REALLY not gonna like it.

I want to tell you that it's not my fault, but I still don't completely believe that. I want to tell you what happened, but I keep putting it off. I can't tell Mom either.

Something bad happened to me in my ol...


Wake up.

Posted by ptsdthrowmeaway , 18 September 2012 · 82 views

Ugggghhhh, what's wrong with me?!

I can't wake up in the morning without my fiance there to kick me out of bed. I sleep through multiple alarms, I even turn them off in my sleep and can't remember doing it. Usually my fiance eventually manages to wake me up when he's tired of hearing my alarms going off.

Last night I stayed up til...


Can't keep female friends

Posted by ptsdthrowmeaway , 17 September 2012 · 56 views

I'm sorry again for not responding to everyone's comments- i'm putting all my effort into school today, but right now my head is kinda in a mess.

I got a call from one of my female former coworkers. Not a big deal, but I was never that close to this girl and she always considered us friends for some reason.

Another girl who I used to be fri...

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