Jump to content

Forever Forward


G@d Dammit

Posted by LBinON , 03 April 2016 · 82 views

I just spent the last 1.5 hours writing a new entry, only to have it dissappear.
Oh well, I'll try to recreate tomorrow.


the Ghomeshi Trial

Posted by LBinON , 31 March 2016 · 234 views

I've been trying to figure out a new entry for some time now, but I was coming up blank. Then it hit me; the Ghomeshi trial.
Like many survivors in Canada this trial and it's ruling have left me with a deep sense of loss and sadness. But that's not what I'm going to focus on today. Today I'm focusing on my own journey through the justice system.


my mom's birthday

Posted by LBinON , 08 March 2016 · 183 views

So today would have been my mother's 69th birthday. She's been gone four years now. And truly, most days I don't really miss her. But today, today I do.

My mother was an amazing woman. She was loving and kind and supportive. She was difficult and determined, she was forgiving and vengeful and wise. She was all of the best and worst rolled in to...


my favorite entries

Posted by LBinON , 29 February 2016 · 195 views

I have started really looking at how I use my blog. And frankly, I still have no ideas. I am not sure what I want from this experience, I just know that I love having a place where I can share my thoughts. As part of this process, I looked back at all of my previous entries. As I read them I realized that there are a few that really stand out for me....


10000 wow

Posted by LBinON , 26 February 2016 · 107 views

Ok I have to say I'm a little blown away. I hit 10000 views today. And I am absolutely floored. That this many people have taken the time to read what I had to say, it blows my mind, I am humbled. But it also kind of scares me. Just a little bit, but still.
I'll get to the fear in a minute or so, but first, I need to say thank you. Thank you for readin...


my new guilt

Posted by LBinON , 25 February 2016 · 123 views

At the tail end of my last post, I wrote "So here it is. My new guilt. I feel guilty about how badly my behavior back then must have hurt the man I love." And I knew it would need some explanation. So without further ado, here it is.
I was assulted when I was 17, by a man I should have been able to trust. Up until that point I had been a virgin. And I...


my guilt

Posted by LBinON , 24 February 2016 · 131 views

So I have guilt.
Or should it be I feel guilty?
Nope its Guilt. And I HAVE it.
I carry it around with me like a lead box. And just when I think I have left it behind, it returns. Surprise surprise; just out of the corner of my eye, there it is. Lying in wait just ready to raise it's ugly little head to trip me up again.
Now like many of us, I have a lo...


A Letter to My New Man

Posted by LBinON , 08 February 2016 · 82 views

The other night I had a long hard discussion with my new BF. As a result, this is part of the letter I sent him the next day.
(There are details of the discussion in the previous post)

My Beloved,

You have just fallen asleep and I am thinking of you. I am wide awake and my head is once again spinning. Tonights talk was very difficult. And I think...


Briefly - About My New Man

Posted by LBinON , 08 February 2016 · 79 views

I recently started a new relationship, he is a wonderful man that I have know for over 20 years. When we first met in college we dated briefly, but my trauma from SA was still so new and I was unable to form a healthy relationship.
Thankfully he was willing to be my friend instead. It was he who made sure I was never alone outside at night, and he...


The New and Improved List

Posted by LBinON , 03 February 2016 · 71 views

A long time ago I posted an entry about a list.
A list of things that make me happy. Things I love or things that I'm proud of. I figured that it was time I dust it off, and give it an update.
So here it is, my new and improved list.

My daughter
A loving family
I stood up and said NO in court
I have great friends
I took care of m...


Starting Over

Posted by LBinON , 03 February 2016 · 72 views

So I'm starting over. The BF I used to speak of wanted out and so I'm single again.
It's been a while since I had any kind of relationship and I'm ready to try again.
Frankly I am teriffied.
I am trying desperately to reign in all my fears but tonight it's just not working.
I'm scared I'm going to screw it up.
I'm scared I'm going to trigger at the...


Thank You

Posted by LBinON , 12 December 2013 · 183 views

I just wanted to take a moment to thank you all for the support you have shown my fledgling little blog. I can't tell you how much it has meant to me to watch the number of views go up entry by entry.
I have been so lucky to have such a supportive place to share my thoughts, and that those thoughts have meant enough to people that they were encourage to...


the girls

Posted by LBinON , 29 November 2013 · 205 views

Well I am out with the girls right now. Hold on though,it's not as much fun as it sounds. The girls are my daughter and her best friend.
I'm not quite sure how it happened, but some how I ended up with both of them for the first part of the evening.
I have them at the library right now and the two of them are squashed in on one of the computers using the...


I'm back

Posted by LBinON , 27 November 2013 · 155 views

So I know that I have been away for a long time, but I have some more access to the Internet these days so it looks like I will be able to be around a bit more.
I suppose I should give you an update as to what is going on in my life. And frankly I don't even know where to start. Since the last time I was around I am single again.
After 7 years, he ju...


Victim Impact

Posted by LBinON , 10 May 2013 · 182 views

Well I finaly managed to finninsh it. It took months and months, and ended up being three full pages. I re-wrote it 4 times but it is done and submitted.
Not only did I submmit it but the crown loved it. the CA on my case said it was extremly elequent and one of the most effective VIS she has ever seen!

which is great but... it means the plea fel...

Trigger Warning


This Blog contains real words, detailed descriptions, and raw content. Please be aware that some people may find certain elements disturbing or triggering. I urge you to be mindful of that fact, and proceed with caution :)

July 2016

24 252627282930

Recent Entries

Recent Comments


Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.