This one I did to myself
Except for one time in the summer when I was 16. My stash ran low so I sent the usual text to my usual dealer but he was out. So was everyone else I knew. I was starting to get the shakes and get panicky and sick so he started calling around for me and finally found someone who had some Vic he would sell me. I got a hold of him and tried to talk him into meeting me somewhere semi-public but he insisted on his house. It sent off every red flag I had, but I was desperate and it wasn't far so I walked over there, since I didn't have a car.
When I got there I was probably clearly starting to go into withdrawal. A fat guy in his mid-thirties answered the door and rushed me inside. I wanted to make it quick so I went straight to business. I must have looked desperate because as soon as I got there he doubled the price on me. I didn't have it, and I started to argue with him. At some point he said "You can blow me for it."
I froze. I was that desperate. I could feel my hands shaking. All I wanted in the world was to get the pills and get out. I didn't care about my body. I didn't care about a blowjob. I'd done it a thousand times before. Who cares? It was a drop in the bucket. He sat down on the couch and I kneeled down in front of him and pulled his pants down and started going down on him. I don't remember after that until I was done. I stole a beer from his coffee table before I left and slammed two pills with it on the way home.
I hate myself so much for doing this to myself.