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Donna Mae DePola - Guest Speaker Chat ...May 25th 2013 ... for more information please read this!

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Meeting little-kid me

15 May 2013
Posted by Clove45  
[font="Times New Roman"]I guess the thought of having inner children freaks me out. I don't like the idea of my self being fractured. I've always kind of had a lot going on in my head, and sometimes it feels like there's a lot of voices talking and not all of them are me. I don't know. I'm scared of going off the deep...
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Posted by Clove45  
I grew up in Roman Catholic schools. Probably due to the SA and PA I was subjected to, not to mention the utter disdain of my so-called peers and abuse by the faculty itself, I was a bit of a behavior problem at times. My grades were good, when I made it through class. I was often sent out into the hallway, at the very least. Frequently I was...
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Posted by Clove45  
We were all in the basement because of the storm. I was there unusually late because my grandma was late coming home because the roads were too dangerous. Their father was home, usually I was gone before he got home from work. He must have left early because he knew about the storm. All six of their kids were home, but he wanted to play with me....
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My first crush

18 April 2013
Posted by Clove45  
[font="Times New Roman"]I think one reason I tend to minimize the abuse I suffered is because it's so daunting. It's so multidimensional. I keep finding ways that things came together. One thing I tend to forget, mostly because I want to, is that I had a boyhood crush on my abuser. He was the older brother I never had, but more...
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Less than successful day

16 April 2013
Posted by Clove45  
Woke up about 40 min before I was supposed to be at the T appointment because I forgot we moved it to the morning. Made it there with 5 minutes to spare, but I'm one of those people who hates being rushed so I always plan my mornings out ahead of time. I should have a regular time from now on so I won't have to worry about it.

About 15...
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Posted by Clove45  
I had my second appointment with the therapist yesterday. I wasn't quite as anxious, because I'd been telling myself all day that the reason I was going in the first place was that she knows what to do and I don't, so there's no point in trying to prepare myself. It started out as expected, I talked about how it was more difficult...
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Back to work

18 March 2013
Posted by Clove45  
A couple of days ago I put plans into motion to go back into therapy. I forgot that the reason I stopped in the first place was that I wanted a break. I was emotionally and mentally exhausted and I needed some time to rest and reflect and find somewhere that accepted my insurance. When I found somewhere and it didn't go well, I gave up on it...
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Bunny rabbit

09 March 2013
Posted by Clove45  
I was on the wrestling team in high school. Probably not all that common for people sexually abused as children, but for me it was an awesome coping tool. The workouts were extreme. I was allowed (and in some cases encouraged) to crash diet. Wrestling itself put me in some obviously triggering positions, but then I was allowed to...
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Posted by Clove45  
I do a lot for my partners. I've loved everyone I've been with in one way or another. Not all of them understand that, because I don't show it the way many do, but it's true. But although all of them are/have been unique, none of them are quite like my wife. None of them have changed me to the same degree. She has successfully...
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Grandma (TW: CSA, PA)

17 July 2012
Posted by Clove45  
*sigh* I don't know why I resist talking about this so much. It's not as if I have any real reason to protect her. I guess I just feel bad because she's so old and she did do a lot for me. But it's not as if it's unfair. And it's not as if I'm not angry about it. I suppose I just had a lot going on at the time.

I said...
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