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So I found these old letters in my memory box last night.
They were poems, well more like raps and I know it sounds dumb but i am so proud of them lol.
I was stupid and when I was in middle school everytime I drank I tried to wrap but I guess one time I wrote them down, and they make sense lol.
But I used to do that all the time, write, and I want to get back to it, but it's hard to do when you dont let yourself feel, which I feel like at this point in my life I'm gonna have to switch back into normal mode because people are getting tired of me being depressed.
So I'm just gonna paint the fake smile on and push everything out because I have to keep everyone else happy right? right.
I just wish I could tell my story to more people, and have some more support but I know that they wouldnt react very well, so for now its just the crew that I got.
Actually the crew that I got is getting ready to be edited because out of the four people that know, one of them is my mom, and one of them I am not close to. My mom is not supportive, one of the people that I am close to isnt supportive, one of the people that know I never talk to, and then there is one that is there as much as she can be, but she has her own life.
I know I'm starting to move on, and I'm ready for it, but there still are bad days that just make it impossible for me to acknowledge how I'm feelin any more. I think it's just time for me to pretend it didnt happen and go on.
I probably wont be able to write any more still, but oh well.
They were poems, well more like raps and I know it sounds dumb but i am so proud of them lol.
I was stupid and when I was in middle school everytime I drank I tried to wrap but I guess one time I wrote them down, and they make sense lol.
But I used to do that all the time, write, and I want to get back to it, but it's hard to do when you dont let yourself feel, which I feel like at this point in my life I'm gonna have to switch back into normal mode because people are getting tired of me being depressed.
So I'm just gonna paint the fake smile on and push everything out because I have to keep everyone else happy right? right.
I just wish I could tell my story to more people, and have some more support but I know that they wouldnt react very well, so for now its just the crew that I got.
Actually the crew that I got is getting ready to be edited because out of the four people that know, one of them is my mom, and one of them I am not close to. My mom is not supportive, one of the people that I am close to isnt supportive, one of the people that know I never talk to, and then there is one that is there as much as she can be, but she has her own life.
I know I'm starting to move on, and I'm ready for it, but there still are bad days that just make it impossible for me to acknowledge how I'm feelin any more. I think it's just time for me to pretend it didnt happen and go on.
I probably wont be able to write any more still, but oh well.
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