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Last night was really bad, so I got a bottle of Burnett's blue rasberry and made it worse. It's weird because ever since I've accepted that my boyfriend is abusing me I've been super sensitive after "incidents" have happened, but I feel nothing today. It's just like before like me and him are totally normal. I'm going to his house later to help his mom do some deep cleaning and so his sister can do my nails. Maybe alcohol does cure everything. Just kidding no one take me seriously when I say that because I know that it makes everything worse in the end. Maybe. I dont know Either I'm getting comfortable with it again or last night was just over that line of bad enough to make me not able to feel anything, because feeling it would hurt to much.
This is so weird. I just know I need to end this soon. Hopefully some how I will figure out a way to leave him and stay gone.
This is so weird. I just know I need to end this soon. Hopefully some how I will figure out a way to leave him and stay gone.
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I've been married for 27 years to an abusive man. I know how difficult it is to leave and stay away permanently. I've left three times, each time for a longer period of time.
Some books which have helped me realize what was happening was abuse and that I was not alone:
Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft
The Verbally Abusive Man, Can He Change?: A Woman's Guid to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go by Patricia Evans
Ditch That Jerk: Dealing With Men Who Control and Hurt Women by Pamela Jayne
It was so embarrassing checking the books out at the library the guy was looking at me so weird like he felt bad or something. It was probably just me being paranoid
Thanks for the advice and the support and I hope that third time was permanent!