So I hope I dont affend (hope thats spelled right) any one but I just have a . . not so quick quick question . . . please respond!
My boyfriend doesnt listen to me when I tell him no. Iknow its not his fault because we love eachother so that has to confuse him. This last time for some reason sent me into like hysterics when I can handle it everyother time. I must just be emotional lately for some reason. He cheated on me last week. The night before the fourth I was supposed to go to his house and drink with his family sort of like a party and he would come when he got off work. When he got there I was already visablly trashed and he tells me all the time how hard I am to put up with, which is why I really know that it wasn't his fault what happened. He walked in the door with a bag from gamestop and movie theater cup in his hand, and of course me being well beyond the definition of intoxicated I started buggin him about. I know i shouldn't have said anything I was just drunk. He then explaind that everything he got that day was from a date with some girl who paid for everything for him which right now I cant afford to do. I mean it sucks because I love him and I wish I could do more financially for him but it's hard for me to take care of myself right now. and he makes three times as much as I do. So after he told me that I just went in his room and laid down to try to go to sleep. That's when he came in and sat at the end of the bed and started playing that stupid video game that that girl bought for him. It's no excuse for what I did I was totally wrong but I was so stupid I just kicked him. Right in the back kicked him. Of course he hit me back like I absolutely deserved but after the third or fourth time of him punchin me, my drunk ass started hitting him to. Well that really made him mad like of course it would make any one mad and thats when he . . . . He pulled my clothes off and started doing things like sexually. He kept asking me to apologize and I should have and usually I do but this time I just drank way to much and I didn't. It was just making him more and more angry and he was trying to do those things to hurt me but I was being stubborn and wouldnt apologize. He finally stopped and instead of going to sleep and being thankful that It was over, I just looked at him and said **** you. That's when he put a blanket over my face and punched me. It knocked my jaw out of place. I know that everything that night was all my fault and that he had all the right in the world to be mad at me but I just cant stop crying or thinking about it. That's why I reached out to an online crisis hotline and they seem to think that I need to go to the crisis center but I realize that my story is alot different than others. That's why I was hoping that some of you who have been through it could tell me if Im just over reacting or if maybe I am suffering from abuse. I apologize to all those who really have been through it and I hope that this message doesnt upset any one.
Please answer me asap!!