From: Swinging in and out of doubt
How about we call it non physical abuse. Emotional abuse can be every bit as persuasive as physical abuse and I personally found it impossible to deflect whereas I could easily turn off to the pain I was receiving mostly.
Non physical abuse isn't gentle either, just because it doesn't leave visible injuries doesn't mean it is not highly damaging.
Just look at how a series of sharp words can reduce a child to tears, that is the power that is there.
It is often easier to think that if we were beaten senseless then that is why we "Allowed" the ra*e to happen. but honestly words have at least as much power and force. add in love, or the abuse of it, and I would rather take another hockey stick to the head than try to resist that.
Dreamgirl. You have been on a remarkable journey of recovery and you have pushed boundaries all the way along. some parts though will take longer than others and I think it is important to allow yourself to recognise this. One day you will be able to put all the blame where it belongs. Like 3X said, this can take a while but you will get there. The same can be said about naming what was done to you. It took me 4 years after it was pointed out to me to be able to say that I was raped. I could say it about others but not about myself.
Listen to your T, I think he knows what he is saying and More importantly, Listen to yourself, you will one day realise that you understand that too.
Source: Swinging in and out of doubt