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Steve, on 31 August 2012 - 02:58 AM, said:
How about we call it non physical abuse. Emotional abuse can be every bit as persuasive as physical abuse and I personally found it impossible to deflect whereas I could easily turn off to the pain I was receiving mostly.
Non physical abuse isn't gentle either, just because it doesn't leave visible injuries doesn't mean it is not highly damaging.
Just look at how a series of sharp words can reduce a child to tears, that is the power that is there.
It is often easier to think that if we were beaten senseless then that is why we "Allowed" the ra*e to happen. but honestly words have at least as much power and force. add in love, or the abuse of it, and I would rather take another hockey stick to the head than try to resist that.
Dreamgirl. You have been on a remarkable journey of recovery and you have pushed boundaries all the way along. some parts though will take longer than others and I think it is important to allow yourself to recognise this. One day you will be able to put all the blame where it belongs. Like 3X said, this can take a while but you will get there. The same can be said about naming what was done to you. It took me 4 years after it was pointed out to me to be able to say that I was raped. I could say it about others but not about myself.
Listen to your T, I think he knows what he is saying and More importantly, Listen to yourself, you will one day realise that you understand that too.
Steve
Non physical abuse isn't gentle either, just because it doesn't leave visible injuries doesn't mean it is not highly damaging.
Just look at how a series of sharp words can reduce a child to tears, that is the power that is there.
It is often easier to think that if we were beaten senseless then that is why we "Allowed" the ra*e to happen. but honestly words have at least as much power and force. add in love, or the abuse of it, and I would rather take another hockey stick to the head than try to resist that.
Dreamgirl. You have been on a remarkable journey of recovery and you have pushed boundaries all the way along. some parts though will take longer than others and I think it is important to allow yourself to recognise this. One day you will be able to put all the blame where it belongs. Like 3X said, this can take a while but you will get there. The same can be said about naming what was done to you. It took me 4 years after it was pointed out to me to be able to say that I was raped. I could say it about others but not about myself.
Listen to your T, I think he knows what he is saying and More importantly, Listen to yourself, you will one day realise that you understand that too.
Steve
Source: Swinging in and out of doubt
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I wonder what I've opened up. I know deep down what I've opened up. I don't want to believe what I've opened up - that's the nub of it - I don't want to have to believe that what happened and what was said were anything other than normal - as then I will have to feel the pain and hurt and despair I tried to shut down then and which just won't go away now.