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dreamgirl's Blog


From: Swinging in and out of doubt

Posted by dreamgirl , 31 August 2012 · 182 views

Source: Swinging in and out of doubt


After it started getting harder

Posted by dreamgirl , 28 August 2012 · 81 views

Each session with my T seems to take me a little further, a bit deeper, gets me to 'feel' some of what happened back before or how I 'feel' now about what happened then and I come home to the aftermath each time. Usually my teen is at home so the journey back from my session is one of tears or tearless sobbing while I try to pull myself t...


This is getting harder

Posted by dreamgirl , 26 August 2012 · 86 views

Iíve had moments when it seemed I was owning some of my past and they felt like real breakthroughs. Then I reverted to doubt and minimising again Ė and again.
This last couple of weeks it feels different. And my T sees a change in me, in how Iím coping, reacting, responding.
My closest friends have been like scaffolding holding me up in the early stages...


Weird dreams - read carefully if liable to triggers

Posted by dreamgirl , 14 August 2012 · 221 views

OK - so here goes for one of the weirdest dreams in a while. I don't usually share dreams, or at least only with closest friend. Writing it here is new for me so may not flow easily but after the response to what I wrote yesterday and the way this week is going I'm willing to try this and see where it goes!

Yesterday in my blog I talked abo...


Damn it I want to feel but not like this - possible triggers (touch/emotions)

Posted by dreamgirl , 13 August 2012 · 115 views

I haven't written for ages - haven't felt able to - no words - no feelings most of the time.

Then this weekend. Saw my therapist on Saturday and we talked through so much, but what has really hit me and I think tapped into my own emotions again at last - his emotional response. How do I explain this?

I was describing something from life with m...



Posted by dreamgirl , 07 August 2012 · 76 views

May trigger for some so please be careful

Does anyone have a problem with certain foods or any foods causing triggers/flashbacks?

I started struggling with facing certain foods, initially it was just bananas, then sausages, you can see a pattern emerging - without having flashbacks or images in my head of my ex.

The problem is its always that certain...


Talking? Writing? Posting blogs? may need trigger warning

Posted by dreamgirl , 05 August 2012 · 107 views

I don't know if I can do this.

I'm sorry if this collapses and I back out.

This is a lifetime of shyness, awkwardness, embarrassment, shame, inability to talk openly about something I have always believed should be seen as normal, healthy, positive.

Yet I live in an on-going prison of silence. I freeze, I get overcome by anxiety, panic, just c...



Posted by dreamgirl , 03 August 2012 · 82 views

OK so I have started to comment on posts I never would have thought I'd have the nerve to read let alone add to. Still very warily and without much personal detail but as much as I can cope with.

What amazes me is the terrific encouragement and affirmation I've had from folk on two threads in particular - so gentle but totally with me despite me...


I want to feel safe

Posted by dreamgirl , 31 July 2012 · 74 views

I have a close friend. She will always speak her mind and I respect her for that - know that I will always know where I stand with her. Except now she has decided in her wisdom that what I am dealing with now is long after my divorce from the guy that did the harm and that I have gone through hell recovering from the break up of the marriage so now is t...


Empty but full

Posted by dreamgirl , 29 July 2012 · 70 views

Every now and then, just for a few moments I get a sense of apprehension and nerves as I face the second half of my two weeks without my therapist. That sounds so self-pitying and self-absorbed.

I have surprised myself at how much I feel I need that time with him. I am realistic enough to recognise that my therapist is still just a human, and he is qui...

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