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My stepfather's stories

Posted by thisisjay , 14 October 2012 · 201 views

Sometimes I feel really stupid when I look back and think of all the things my stepfather said to me that I believed. I know that I was a child. I understand that children naturally believe authority figures. But sometimes I just can't help feeling stupid.

My stepfather liked to tell me stories that would scare me. Not even when he was abusing me but just generally at random moments he would decide to tell my sister, my mother and I stories. I don't know why. My mother would laugh at the scared look on my face. I don't remember my sister being that bothered by them but we never really talked about it so maybe I just didn't notice. I think the stories were for me though. He would stare at me as he told them.

We lived in this really old house. It was disgusting. The ceiling in my bedroom drooped down like it was about to cave in. There were roaches and mice. Also crickets, lots of crickets in the basement and giant spiders in the garage. His dog pooped everywhere. I was made to clean it up. It was such a horrible crappy little house. He told us this story once about sharks living underneath it. Something about the floor caving in and me falling down and being eaten. But the sharks only lived under the floor in the bathroom. I don't remember exactly what he said but I think he said, or gave me the impression, that he was preventing it. This story terrified me for years. I would be terrified to take showers. I would speed through them while trying to step lightly and move around so my weight wouldn't cause the floor to give away. I would keep staring at the floor to make sure there were no signs it was about to fall and stare down the drain to make sure I couldn't see any sharks.

I don't know why he would tell me these stories becaue I don't remember them being a part of his abuse. Maybe it was his way of keeping me on edge and afraid of him. Maybe it was his way of making me think I needed him and that's why I think he told me he could prevent it. Maybe it was part of his grooming pocess, although it's not a technique I've heard of before. That was one of the scariest stories he ever told me. It didn't dawn on me for years how stupid it was. I can't remember the others he told me but I think most of them revolved around a natural disaster or something nature related. It's funny how he knew that it was nature and not people and their evil that scared me. I guess he knew because I always watched horror movies as a child and was never bothered by them but I was hated watching about the natural disasters on the weather channel.



Trigger Warning

I am not censoring anything I say in this blog so please be careful when you read it.

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