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I had three dreams, as far as I can tell, last night. I guess I should have written them down earlier because I can't really remember much of them now. But the first one I had freaked me out and I needed time to toss it around in my brain for awhile. The other two don't really matter. I can only remember one little flash from the second dream. It was me realizing I had more space on my bookshelf than I thought I had. The third one I can't remember at all. It was fading as soon as I woke up. I think it might have been something about starting classes tomorrow. I have been really stressed about it. I really just want to write about the first dream because it's still kind of freaking me out.
Dream 1:
It had to do with my stepfather. It was set in a time where I was still being abused but some things were off. He did something to me that I don't remember him doing. Also my grandmother knew what was going on and was trying to get me away from him. She kept saying stuff about emancipation even though she would be taking care of me.
None of this ever happened in my real life. I don't remember a lot of things about my childhood and what I do remember is jumbled. But I do know my grandmother never tried to get me away from him. I remember wishing she had, all the time, but she never did. Also I was too young for emancipation back then and probably didn't know what it meant. What really freaked me out in the dream was dreaming about him doing something that I don't remember him doing. I know that sometimes we dream about our memories and it made me think that the dream was that an uncovered memory. But then I got to thinking that stuff with my grandmother I know never happened so maybe it was just a dream created by stress and means nothing.
Just because part of the dream wasn't true doesn't mean another part can't be based in the truth right? What if what he did to me in the dream he really did do and I just can't remember it? What if that part of the dream was true and it was just presented in a dream to help me cope with remembering? That is what's really freaking me out.
Dream 1:
It had to do with my stepfather. It was set in a time where I was still being abused but some things were off. He did something to me that I don't remember him doing. Also my grandmother knew what was going on and was trying to get me away from him. She kept saying stuff about emancipation even though she would be taking care of me.
None of this ever happened in my real life. I don't remember a lot of things about my childhood and what I do remember is jumbled. But I do know my grandmother never tried to get me away from him. I remember wishing she had, all the time, but she never did. Also I was too young for emancipation back then and probably didn't know what it meant. What really freaked me out in the dream was dreaming about him doing something that I don't remember him doing. I know that sometimes we dream about our memories and it made me think that the dream was that an uncovered memory. But then I got to thinking that stuff with my grandmother I know never happened so maybe it was just a dream created by stress and means nothing.
Just because part of the dream wasn't true doesn't mean another part can't be based in the truth right? What if what he did to me in the dream he really did do and I just can't remember it? What if that part of the dream was true and it was just presented in a dream to help me cope with remembering? That is what's really freaking me out.
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Trigger Warning
I am not censoring anything I say in this blog so please be careful when you read it.
Good luck in finding out the truth. I hope you can find it soon.