Welcome to Pandora's Aquarium, a rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivor message board and chat room.
If you've been a victim of any type of sexual violence, you belong here. What you see below represents just a fraction of the resources and survivor support available. Register now to join our community and take full advantage of what this online support group has to offer you as you heal and recover, or sign in to remove this message.
You are not alone, we can support you as you heal, and you've made an important step toward recovery by reaching out. If you are unable to register or have any questions, please contact the staff or view our home page.
Example: My sister borrowed about $150 four years ago. I know I shouldn't have lent it to her but when she wants something she doesn't give up. She begged, cried, argued, reasoned, and there is only so much of that one person can take, so to finally shut her up I gave it to her. She didn't pay me back a single dime until about a year ago. And yes she did have the money to pay me back several times. I would never make her give me all her money. The only thing I asked of her was to give me reasonable payments of $10-$20 whenever she had money. She always finds an excuse not to pay or she just would spend all the money before I found out she had it. I would confront her about her lame excuses and we would end up getting into big fights.
Last year I got fed up and demanded she start making payments. She said that once she started going to GED classes (she gets paid for them) she would give me her whole paycheck until I was paid off. I said no that wasn't necessary because I knew she wouldn't do it. I just asked for the same payments I had before. Considering she was making a couple hundred dollars a month I don't think that was asking a lot. Most of the time she would make her excuses or just spend the money and not give me any. Other times, in between paychecks, she would borrow money from other people and then immediately pay them back, spend the rest on what she wanted, and give me nothing. Every once in a while I would get $5 or $10 from her but there would be months in between payments. A few days ago for the first time since December she gave me $5. I had been sleeping when she brought it in and just had her set it down. She threw a fit because she thought I wasn't grateful for it. Which you know what, I'm not. She made $65, ate out for lunch, bought two DVDs, and tabacco and cigarette tubes. She told me that $5 dollars was all she could afford. I'm supposed to grateful that she lied to me and put her wants (as always) above her countless commitments to pay me back?
She's been throwing it in my face ever since. She's saying that I should be grateful because she could have lied and said she didn't get paid and then gave me nothing. She says I should be grateful that I'm getting anything because she's only giving me what she can afford. Everytime she gets paid she spends it on crap that she wants using the excuse that she never gets anything for herself. Well I'm calling her on her bullshit. That's all she ever spends her money on, herself.
I've just been brushing it off everytime she says that but tonight she actually threw it in my face after I bought her a sandwich that she asked for. I guess this pissed me off so much because she started talking about what she was going to spend her next paycheck on and it didn't include a payment to me. I asked her about that and she started yelling about how ungrateful I was. So I threw back it back in her face and asked her where was my gratitude for anything I had ever done for her. Loaning her money, driving her wherever, picking her up at all hours of the night, buying her food or whatever. I do this crap for her on a daily basis and I don't even get a smile. I get yelled at if I don't do it the way she wanted or if she has to wait five minutes to long for me. She takes advantage of everyone, me most of all. She is a mooch.
I've been trying lately to cut back and not give into her so much. But it's so hard because I have to fight her all the time. I'm not finacially able to move out. I know the only thing to do is to resist her but it's just so exhausting. She's been the type of person who takes advantage of people her whole life. How do you break that cycle? Our mother is and has always been completely useless and has never stopped her from throwing temper tantrums when she doesn't get what she wants. That's how she acts. Like a five year old sceaming and crying and it will go on for hours or on and off for days. It is exhausting. I am just so tired of her.