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Because it is bitter, And because it is my heart.

Posted by thisisjay , 07 July 2012 · 53 views

I've been thinking about the poem In the Desert by Stephen Crane. I really love this poem. It's one of my favorites. I guess because I relate to it. I just thought I would share it for those who don't know it.

In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, beastial,
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said: "Is it good, friend?"
"It is bitter-bitter," he answered;
"But I like it
Because it is bitter,
And because it is my heart."

Thought I would edit this entry this morning by adding my interpetation of this poem now that I am no longer sleep deprived. So here it is:

To me this poem is about acceptance. The narrator is in the desert so perhaps he is hallucinating or experiencing a mirage. I think that the creature he see is a representation of that side of himself. The naked, beastial creature side is the side of himself he doesn't want to accept. (I think that we all have a side like that.) As this side of him eats his heart he is accepting those feelings that the creature side of him has. He says that his heart taste bitter. Of the bitterness in his heart or of the bitterness he feels about accepting it. But he likes it, even thought he feels that way. Because it is his heart.

In lore I've read people ate hearts as a way to consume the person or animal's strengh and courage. Perhaps in eating his heart he is also gaining the strength that he needs to accept this beastial side of himself and all of the emotions that come with him.

Now I'm not saying that I feel bitter, although sometimes I do. I'm saying that I will accept myself as I am. I will accept all of the feelings I have. For if you don't accept yourself how can you ever be happy? I don't think it will always be easy. It may at times taste bitter, or worse. But I will eat of it because it is my heart and perhaps it will make me stronger in the end.

Trigger Warning

I am not censoring anything I say in this blog so please be careful when you read it.

December 2014

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