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Anger fades

30 December 2012
Posted by thisisjay   in Family
I've often made comments in a joking manner about putting my mom in a nursing home if she ever gets too old to take care of herself. I say it jokingly, but I would. I think she knows that I'm serious too. She said something tonight about me needing to watch out for karma if I did. And it made me so angry. Sometimes she is so...
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My mother, again

04 November 2012
Posted by thisisjay   in Family
My sister really loves watching Law & Order: SVU. If you're familiar at all with this show, which you probably are, then you know it usually features stories about pedophiles. Tonight on one of the episodes two therapists were talking and one said something about only being able to listen to a father talk about his fantasies about his 2...
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Is it better to be safe?

23 October 2012
Posted by thisisjay   in Family
My mom and I got into an argument earlier about this. She thinks it's a gimmik and that I shouldn't go for it. She said something along the lines of her never taking chances. I immediately thought that's why you're nothing. Which is really mean and I...
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My stepfather's stories

14 October 2012
Posted by thisisjay  
Sometimes I feel really stupid when I look back and think of all the things my stepfather said to me that I believed. I know that I was a child. I understand that children naturally believe authority figures. But sometimes I just can't help feeling stupid.

My stepfather liked to tell me stories that would scare me. Not even when he was...
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Trying to catch a break

09 October 2012
Posted by thisisjay   in Family
Sometimes I just wish I could catch a break.

We needed new tires and brakes on our car. We couldn't afford them so my Aunt M paid for them and mom will pay her back later. Aunt M came up to me today and started asking me if there was any way I could help out my mom finacially. She knows I don't have a job, how am I supposed to help? I...
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Posted by thisisjay  
I wasn't planning on spending any time on Pandy's this weekend. I have two big papers to write before Wednesday, but I had an unexpected moment and I felt like I needed to be here.

I went shopping today. Old Navy is having a sale on coats today. They're only $15. I decided to buy one. I haven't had a coat in years. The only...
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Being Poor

20 September 2012
Posted by thisisjay  
John Scazi wrote this essay that was linked to a Cnn article today. The essay is called "Being Poor." I found it on their website tonight. I just wanted to share it with you guys. It's really good and brought up quite a few memories.

http://whatever.scal.../03/being-poor/

P.S. It's not very long.

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Posted by thisisjay   in Family
Why is it that when we're around family we seem trapped in the behaviors we had as children. Or am I the only one this happens to?

For example:

My Aunt M was right next door at my grandma's house. (Yes, unfortunately we live that close.) I had been home from classes for less than an hour. I always keep my phone on vibrate while in class...
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Posted by thisisjay   in Family
I told my mom tonight that as soon as I can afford it I'm moving out. I told her that I'm going to leave and never come back. That as soon as I am able to get away from her she will never see me again. I was angry when I said it but I meant every word and it felt so good to finally say. I've wanted to say it to her for so long but...
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Family Visits

03 September 2012
Posted by thisisjay   in Family
So some of my family members came over today for a Labor Day cookout. It wasn't supposed to be a extended family cookout but they like to invite themselves. My aunt K, her son W, and my gma invited themselves. I hate when they come over and they do so all the time. I always feel like I have to hide in my room. It's bad enough I have to...
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