Upcoming Writing Contests
The upside of submitting to the contest, aside from winning and yes winning money to pay for more contests or to save up, is just trying. I told my T that speaking with others who wrote such as former classmates were always terrified to submit and would not, almost, "dare" to submit to contests since they knew they would never make it.
And the downside: it costs some money; "broke" college student; work part-time (internship) but it is not paid; appointments; etc. Overall, not guarantee that submitting will help me in the long run.
I am HORRIFIED of these contests because other people are reading and, some, will tear oneself to shred with criticism if they do not like the story and even hate it. But, I NEED to submit to these contests. I have to try. Even if I get rejected by all six of these contests (one which is the world's biggest competition for screenwriters), at least I can I say I try and, then, submit another story the following year.
I recently polished up the second draft of the screenplay I want to send; however, I was torn on just sending it when the contests open up online for submission or look it over again. I say "was" since, well, something that my T said earlier is clicking a bit.
My T said could I just send it off, knowing that every written material is truly not "completed" until it either hits the big screen or book/article, etc. What is, ironic, too is that I was the one who told her a few times in the past of reading other writer's websites/blogs, etc. saying that it was their "4th, etc." draft that they won at contests but it was draft # "10, 18, etc." that was their last/completed draft since either their material hit the shelves or the big screen.
I am leaning more to just submitting this thing and, well, let it be in God's hands since after all it already is. I am impatient and this is why it can trigger my anxiety, depending on the circumstances. But, I feel like if I do not submit this year, I will be mad at myself for not just doing it. I am still learning A LOT, clearly, of not being a perfectionist and to give myself CREDIT. I finished my second screenplay, feature, and maybe "rewarding" (as T used to tell me in prior sessions) myself IS submitting another writing of mine to these contests. And IF I do place as a finalist or even win (trying not to get hopes high up), then I can add that to my resume and possibly, ultimately, find an agent.
This writing has been a LONG LONG journey; but, after everything I have been through---both personal and professional wise---I NEVER want anyone else's life. I am writing for a reason and hope that one day, I can use writing as a way of opening up of my past and reaching out and helping others.
---What is weird too and mentioned this in presentation for a class a few days ago and to T earlier today: I continue to pursue something that I used to dislike/hate as a child which was reading and writing. I thought it was "stupid." I literally did not know how to read or write in the first grade. Remember going to a reading speech program every day in the first grade, about fifteen minutes before lunch and never really understood why. Instead of writing in morning class journals, I would draw pictures or even just write out---literally---letters because I was so embarrassed of not knowing what to do.