I worry a lot when it comes to having guys as friends not that I have ever had any except one who I met my first semester of college.. He actually liked me but I kept thinking that I was overthinking it and whatnot until he asked me out in a text. Twice.
I felt bad because I like him but not like that so I texted back that I really like him as a friend and probably even apologized. I was bummed because I thought now he was going to get shady and not want to talk to me anymore. Turns out I was wrong but three years later, we still keep in touch. And he has a girlfriend and he asks about the writing too :)
This is probably going to sound mean but I became friends with one of the interns at my internship during my last two weeks there when he had just started his job there. We keep in touch; but sometimes when we are texting, I get a feeling that I an leading him on. Even though I am not.
At first, he would bring up of texting him since we watched one of the tv shows that filmed on the lot we interned. I do not know what I really said but he gave me his business card and I had to call him eventually when my supervisor told me to drop off something for him at one of the gates. So he got my number that way.
I guess I get mad since, do not mean to sound cocky because I even think wait they actually like me, guys I do not like in that way like me. I get worried that being nice comes off as flirty or even a tease. I mean, sometimes, I wish I had a boyfriend but because of the obvious, I am learning how to not let my past ruin present day/future.
I used to say that I was not mentally and emotionally ready for a relationship but in reality, no one ever is so guess I just need to see that one day , I can have a committed relationship as well as intimacy without having trauma triggers.
My older cousin who was in a similar situation as me years ago told me flat out that even if I just hooked up with someone it did not matter. It freaked me out when she said this like out of the blue but then she went on and said that her partners, while sleeping with them, never triggered any flashbacks for her. So, in other words, she was able to have that emotional connection with someone while being psychical.