I feel like a double life -- one will put on that smile on the outside but inside, I wonder who will find out of the abuse and how will they react and will they stay or be so disgusted that they will leave. I mean one of my good college guy friends got all sad when I texted him that a story I sent him to read was based on my life (it was about my dad drunk dialing me and leaving cruel voicemails my first week of college).
What also kind of worries me is that when reading ways for survivors to heal or cope with what they have gone through was by writing. So, that made me even more upset because I have been writing for a few years and thought to myself that all these stories (particularly these two) I have been working on for years was just an outlet for me to escapade and in other words will not see daylight where others can invest in my words and the morals of the stories. I am also a work alcoholic and made me upset that I work because it helps somewhat distract me from thinking of this crap .
I just do not want to ever be in denial of this all! Someone in this family needs to break the cycle of not shoving things under the carpet and sticking up. I still feel a bit proud of myself for calling my dad and brother and even my mom out and what is even more messed up or perhaps funny at times when I can laugh about it is that they all got mad because someone told then NO.