Yep. I am starting to realize that this takes time to take more control over the anxiety. To make sure that I was not going crazy, I googled "celebrities who have panic attacks" and come across a few-especially Emma Stone, who admits in an interview article that she got anxiety at eight years old and STILL continues to struggle with it. It sounds mean, but it is because my stupid doctor was so unsupportive about me telling her that I suffer from anxiety and stress and even telling me to get a plan B (so, not pursuing a career in film/writing), but very glad that people who are held up on a pedal stool like they do not have "problems" come out about their struggles and saying that even though they have battles of their own, they continue to pursue their dreams. I just find it comforting and inspiring that people are open about it and saying that they somehow learn how to "deal" or take "control" of it. I just get the jitters/nerves/anxiety at random times (anything seems to trigger it, especially stress and/or talking or thinking about it). I think I even got anxiety a few times too because I was somewhat mistaking my allergies for nerves.
I just keep praying that I get healthier because I do not want to be in fear or feel alone. I know all of this (abuse, anxiety, stress, fear) will take time to come over-or at least try to move forward and know that I am NOT at fault for the things that had happened-and want to stay strong and never give up on ANYTHING that I set my mind on. I kick my A** way too much and need to stop.
Take care everyone.