So today, my mother was getting ready to attend a family reunion-something in which the inner family on my mom's side never really attends due to busy lives. Anyway, I was not planning to go due to some homework, etc., but when I had walked into her room, she looked real angry while texting. I asked if she was ok, thinking that it was her boyfriend who was texting her, but eventually when I walked out of her bedroom, she was yelling on the phone with my father. I heard everything, both on accident and purposely since our house is a condo, and was both relieved but scared too. My father brought up some old "past" stuff with her and it seemed to have finally hit her that something is wrong with my dad. He has been an alcoholic his entire life and although he may be sober as of now, he almost seems to be acting worse. Long story short, I did not open my mouth such as saying "see I told you so," etc., because I find it a waste of breath. She, however, said if I was going to ask if she was ok and then it went into a conversation of my father. She kept saying how she wanted to believe that he had changed but I kept saying that I have been telling her this since day 1. Anyway, once I started "sticking up" for what I believe, etc., she did not "loose it." I cried a bit once she had left since this seems to have been the first time in which she is actually listening and realizing that things my father has said, mainly about me, is not true. I know that a lot of you, perhaps, may have gone through something similar or worse, but I just felt the need to post this since I am feeling happy/relieved/confused/worried/sad and not so much anger like I would before. I guess I do see this as a step by step since I kept saying things such as "wish dad was my only abuser," "when I put my foot down with my abusers, then all of a sudden I'm the b***h" she listened.
I am feeling a bit more of that "freedom" where my wings are about to spread and I can just fly. I know that sounds corny but I am seeing that maybe telling my mom of my sibling abusing me growing up, but being blunt and not dropping those "hints," will not be as horrific and the worse extreme as possible like I have been thinking it would be. I know this will be the hardest thing to do since breaking away from my father was difficult and I still cry about it, but I just see that breath of hope and that I will be the one who defines myself as an individual.
Thank you for those of you who took the time to read or just scan this.