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Been wanting to ask...

Posted by writer2010 , 22 July 2012 · 22 views

This has been on my mind ever since I was in high school and especially when I first admitted to being sexually taken advantage of, but how do you date? I know this is very simple, but growing up, I have had "crushes" or "flirted" but I was never like my friends who "hooked up" with boy to boy or ran their lives around them. I used to say that I never wanted to drag a boy into my life due to my father's drinking and abuse so I know that is part of the reason why I "gave up" in ways to pursue someone. Now, I am 20 and still never had a boyfriend nor close to actually being intimate with someone I suppose. I just get bummed since it seems like all girls speak about is boys and sex and I just feel guilty and ashamed and embarrassed since I fill my days with school, writing, or applying to internships and jobs. I sometimes feel self-conscious, thinking I am too fat, ugly or just guys do not like me since I have no boobs or etc. Just get scared since I always have this feeling that I will end up "alone" or never letting my guard down. There is already family b**l s**t and it always seems to just continue and wish I could stay out of it, but when it is amongst "close family" kind of impossible so this is why I grew "trust issues" since the ones closest to me seemed to have hurt me the most.


Sorry to b***h but just need to know that this is perhaps "normal" that people who have or are going through this had "guard issues" with dating, sex, etc.



I feel the same way. Your not alone. I have a boyfriend but its not quite to that normal stage yet. I see people going out to first dates or bringing the new guy to family functions but I feel like, that doesnt really happen in real life. Like i would be asking for to much to be treated like every one else. But that isnt the case. There really are guys out there who would want to take you to the movies instead of a party, and who would come and be a nervous wreck meeting your dad, not because he is afraid of his drinking problem, but because he wants to make sure he impresses your parent. You just have to realize that your worth more then just hooking up but that there is some one out there one day who will realize that. Good luck!!
Hey, Sherodon. I tried posting on your profile but wanted to tell you thank you for the support once again :hug: . It is strange since after I had stopped "associating" with my abusers, dad and sibling, I started to meet people who actually "accepted" me as me. It is weird how I think on how much has changed, both sad, but good as well.

April 2014

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