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My mom always talks to my abuser and it makes me upset and angry because he still comes by to pick up his mail and whatnot. I hate whenever I see him pull up in the car with my dad. I flinch whenever I see a black Porsche and pray that I will not waste anymore tears on them. I do not want to hate but sometimes I want myself too because the two men who were supposed to protect and guide me were the ones who had always hurt me. It just makes me so restless since my mother will not listen.
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I do not know why it makes me terrified because I have stuck up for myself to my father and abuser who have belittled and mistreated me for so long and then I come as the b***h. It is funny because my mother has always complained about them and even came venting to me many times when my abuser used to live here permanently and now it is like nothing had ever happened.